- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I’ve debated whether it’s too early to post this or not, but I need some objective opinions. My mother has had a falling out with her siblings that started with a disagreement regarding fiances after my grandparents passed away. When the disagreement couldn’t be solved things turned nasty and my mom’s siblings verbally attacked my parents. This turned into some light stalking and harassment. I knew of none of this because my parents felt that my sister and I should not have our relationships runined with our aunts/uncles/cousins. However, my aunts & uncles took to using my sister and I as manipulative pawns in this ridiculous fight and not only said hurtful things about our parents to us, but dragged us into this. I received hurtful texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, and emails, which I chose to ignore for the most part. I was forced for my own sanity’s sake to defriend all family members on that side as I felt some of my aunts & uncles were using information my cousins knew from my Facebook to hurt my immediate family (such as breaking into my parent’s residence and taking family heirlooms while my Mom was visiting me to try on wedding gowns for the first time) I finally found the courage to ask them not to contact me anymore about 8 months ago when I felt they crossed a serious line, although I chose not to tell my parents any of this. Since then I still receive hurtful messages from my aunts (one of which is my godmother). I always felt that I invested more time & effort into my relationships with this side than they did with me, but I was raised in a large extended family where you don’t give up on your family. My parents moved and have not told any of them where they are living to ensure they are not harassed, but my mom has begun to reach out to them all with holiday cards (which of course prompted rude contacts to me). The million dollar question is do I invite them to my wedding? I feel that if I don’t it will close the door completely on any chance of some form of reconcilation in the future for not only me, but my mom. However, I don’t want to spend my entire wedding day worrying about something happening and don’t feel that my parents should have to deal with them at all after how they’ve been treated. At the end of the day though they’re family who were a part of my childhood and who have only treated me this poorly in the last year and a half and I worry if things change in the future I’ll regret that they weren’t there. I guess I’m just hurt and upset that they’re no longer people who deserve to be at my wedding when they should be. My guest list is over by about 20 people and if I don’t invite this side of the family I’m just about there. So do I invite them, definitely don’t invite, or find a group of “B” listers and send no Save-The-Date Cards to that side of the family & B list which will buy me time to figure things out and decide what to do when its time to send out invites in a few months?