(Closed) Need your opinion on this please!!! Photographer wants to take….

posted 10 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: Should I take pictures BEFORE the ceremony?
    No, it won't be the same when you walk.... : (28 votes)
    32 %
    Yes! You can take more pics! : (60 votes)
    68 %
  • Post # 17
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I just wanted to add that I think part of this depends on how your timeline for the day will work.  Mine is rough right now, but probably ceremony at 1pm, with cocktails not starting until 5pm.  That way there will be plenty of time between the end of the ceremony (and receiving line at the church) to get photos done before we have cocktails.  We are guessing at this point in time that we will have at least 2.5 hours to do all the photos and get to the reception.

    Edit – I agree about the grooms face the first time he sees you at the aisle!  But there are ways to capture that expression when couples opt to do the first look.  I think you feel strongly enough about this that you should NOT do a first look.  That is what you really want so just talk to your photographer about it! 🙂

    Post # 18
    18628 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    We still had special looks on our faces walking down the aisle (and we did get a picture of when he first saw me at the first look too).

    We had time to go to a different location before the wedding and take 2 hours worth of pictures.  We still didn’t have time to participate in our cocktail hour after getting family and group shots and the receiving line.

    Post # 19
    1147 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think it’s important to go with what you want. I know most photographers prefer to do a First Look and mine is no different, but instead we are taking pictures with the bridal party and some fun pictures and then doing family and pictures together immediately after the ceremony. If you want to wait, then tell your photog that you would like to wait.

    Post # 20
    2633 posts
    Sugar bee

    We are doing a “first look”, but if you are dead set against it, tell your photog that you don’t want to. 

    Post # 21
    348 posts
    Helper bee

    Personally, I never wanted to not see each other before walking down the aisle.  But the real issue here is that your photographer doesn’t seem to be willing to work with what you want.  S/he shouldn’t be pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do, even if there are advantages.

    Post # 22
    54 posts
    Worker bee

    I have a very strong opinion on this.  I want the first time my fi to see me is when I’m walking down the aisle with my dad.  As far as the pictures are concerned – you are the one paying the photographer to do what YOU want to do.  If he doesn’t do what YOU want, then find a new photographer.  I also believe that pictures during the cocktail-hour are ideal.  If you have the pictures pre-ceremony – you will be getting your picture taken as boyfriend/girlfriend/fiances.  I want to take the pictures with my Fiance on our wedding day as HUSBAND AND WIFE!  I don’t think this is asking too much – and you should tell your photographer to take a hike if he thinks otherwise.  He is only thinking of himself and how easy it will be for HIM!


    After that strong opinion – do what makes YOU happy.  It’s your day!!

    Post # 23
    2865 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Don’t do anything you don’t want to do BUT some advantages are:

    Being able to do more pictures without feeling rushed or that you’re missing out on anything.

    Being able to spend some time “alone” with your Fiance before the rush of the day starts. Might calm some jitters and be fun.

    Post # 24
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I agree with the posters who’ve said that you shouldn’t be pressured by your photographer into doing anything you don’t want to do!  I think a lot of people have made good points about the usefulness of the ‘first look’, and you should definitely take it into consideration and mull it over with your fiancé to decide if it’s right for you guys.  But there is NOTHING wrong with forgoing this recent invention if you feel strongly that you want to see each other on your wedding day as you walk down the aisle!  I think vtbride2010 also made a good point, that first look pictures technically aren’t yet of you and your husband, which may or may not matter to you.

    Personally?  I absolutely do not want to have a first look and while I see the validity of the points others have made about it pros, the big con for me is that I imagine there being something especially magical about Fiance seeing me for the first time in my big white dress in one of the most beautiful and traditional aspects of a wedding.  Yes, it can still be special if you guys saw each other earlier, but to me it would not be the same.  I want him to be stunned as he sees me walk down the aisle all prettied up in an outfit unlike anything I’ll ever wear again, immediately before we go through the beautiful ceremony we wrote ourselves, only looking at each other despite the fact that so many other people are watching us.  Maybe I’m romanticizing what it’ll be like a bit too much, but it just seems like a really beautiful and powerful moment, and for us, doing a first look would sort of undercut its power.

    Post # 25
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    We plan on doing this, it is pretty traditional for Jewish weddings for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony to sign the Ketubah. It will also give us a moment to ourselves, give me a chance to settle my emotions (lol), give us more time for pictures, and more time to spend with our friends and family.

    Post # 26
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    They still capturedmy grooms face as I was walking down the aisle, but they also captured it during the first look.  I should reiterate that w had no preference to when we’d first see eachother that day.  We spen the night prior together, we had breakfast together that day, then we separated at like 9 and got back together at 3 for the first look.  That was how WE wanted it, not our photographer.  Dont be pressured if you are really not into it, but we just saw so many more benefits to it.  And I PROMISE you, nothing takes away from that special moment when he sees you walking down the aisle towards him.  You’re walking to him to be his wife.  That, regardless of how much of you he has sen that day, is immensely special

    Post # 27
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    We’re not doing a first look. My FH is adamently against it. We have a huge church with grand doors, and I can’t wait for them to be opened. However, we are doing family photos with me first, so that we can get them out of the way. We’ll knock out at least 1/3 of the formal shots before the ceremony even begins. It’s a good compromise for the traditional minded with modern photographers 🙂

    Post # 28
    1523 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We are doing a first look and given our timeline, it was really necessary to do one. Our ceremony is at 5:30 and our reception starts immediately afterwards in the same location. We will be taking pictures before the ceremony of ourselves and with our bridal party, parents and grandparents. 

    Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do, but I do think a first look is something to consider if you do not have much time between your ceremony and reception.

    Also, my photographer will be able to capture my FI’s face when I walk down the aisle all the same. Even though we will have already seen one another, I know that we will both be emotional when I come down the aisle!

    Post # 29
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Do what you want. It’s your and your FH’s day. Have you talked this over with him?

    Remember, you are paying the photog – if he or she pressures you, then get someone else. Life is just too short and if this is important to you, no need to feel anxious about your decision.

    Have a wonderful wedding and God bless you both.

    Post # 30
    7369 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    if you’re not comfortable don’t feel pressure, you are paying her not the other way around. Thats not fair of her. Personally I completely agree with the new trend of first looks, as it makes more logistical sense, but this about you and your Fiance.

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