Post # 1
Some background- We’ve both agreed that we are going to marry each other- no real timeline has ever been mentioned. I’m trying to be chill and relaxed about everything and most days I succeed. Actually, I don’t really mention it at all. He’s pretty sensitive to being pressured and we’ve both witnessed two other friends be bullied and pressured to get married- my guys reaction is always disbelief and horror when the girlfriends ask if their rings have been purchased or openly say things on FB about still waiting, etc.
He has asked me about rings, last week he asked about what kind of wedding- we agreed small dw with just our children. He said he was talking to his mom and she made him promise not to do anything without telling her- not sure if she meant proposing or getting married. Given that he talks openly- I know I’m not totally off the mark in thinking we’ll be getting married sooner rather than later.
We’ve both been invited on several vacation opportunities this year- couple and solo. He hasn’t seemed interested in any of these and alluded that we’ll go some place together, but no real commitment or further discussion. I always go on a girl’s trip and this year my girls are expanding from a 3 day excursion to a full on 7 day adventure. More money and more time from work- fine. I let him know of our tentative plans and his only response “Are you going?” I want to go, but I would rather go on vacation with him. He knows this! I don’t want to be needy. I’m going to have a discussion with him tonight about this. How do I broach the topic of a timeline without seeming overbearing and pushy? I can talk to this man about anything in the entire world, but get the worst anxiety when I think about this conversation with him! I’m a dork, I know.
Post # 3
@Jinxy: I would say “So I’ve been thinking about the girls’ week, and if I have to choose between going to that and going on vacation with you, I’d rather go with you. Were you thinking of going on vacation any time soon or will my pocket book be able to recover from the girls’ week before we do anything expensive?” Make it about the timing of the vacation, not the proposal/ring.
Post # 4
@Jinxy: i second @Nostawyn:‘s suggestion.
‘I’ve been thinking about the trip with the girls, and I’d like to go, but if I can only go on one trip this year I’d rather go with you’
Post # 5
Your convo should 100% be about the vacation time/money because in reading your post that seems like what your real question is about, not about a proposal. He might not have any intention of proposing on vacation, so regardless of if you go with him / with GF’s it might not happen at that time.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I fail to see what either of these possible vacations has to do with a proposal? If you don’t want to push him about a proposal, don’t bring it up. Ask him about the vacation only.
Post # 7
@Nostawyn: Excellent, very seamless and natural!
@MsGinkgo: Thanks, definitely going to be my approach.
@MissMay3003: I guess in my head, I was hoping he would propose on vacation or propose and then schedule a destination wedding for this year. Lol I’m getting waaaayyyyyyy ahead of myself since there hasn’t been a discussion about our timeline. I’m a bit of a control freak and really want to say- “Do you mind if I make a spreadsheet outlining a budget for a destination wedding, comparing locations, time of year, allotted vacation time, and our children’s schedules to determine 2014 or 2015?” I’m resisting because that’s just overboard, crazy control freak right thurr!
Post # 8
@whoa_its_ash: I may have answered in my other post. I was hoping everything was going to happen this year-so I didn’t want to spend the money or use the vacation time. I know, I know- I was being a bit crazy, manic, control freak…such attractive qualities in a girlfriend! <red face!>
Post # 9
@Jinxy: Not sure if you’re still looking for answers but I like the previous idea of mentioning the cost of two vacations (might also give a hint as to whether he’s saving for a ring). Perhaps asking about other events that might line up with a wedding can give you a sneaky timeline Lol. Its possible to broach the timeline subject head on without putting too much pressure on him as long as you’re relaxed during it. This all depends on how sensitive he is and what option feels more comfortable for you 🙂
oh and nothing wrong with being a bit of a control freak! (Like me) lol