(Closed) Needed input on–Couples counseling. Just curious.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I so disagree with your co-worker. If anything being open and willing to go to counseling is a strong indicator a person wants their marriage to succeed. Otherwise, why even go to attempt to repair the faults in the marriage?

Post # 4
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

I think it works if both parties are open to change… 

Your friend would probably never be open enough to letting counseling change him so of course he thinks that. 

Post # 5
Member
10573 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Then why do so many couples go through pre-maritial counselling and still get married?

Post # 7
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Your coworkers logic puzzles me. o.O 

Post # 8
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Counselling works when both people are willing and open about it. There are so many issues and topics that some couples never consider that counselling helps open the lines of communication. I have heard this same opinion as your co-worker before. I mentioned the idea to my Mother, and she said the same thing about deeming the marriage to fail before it has started. My Mother also left my Father and their divorced, so clearly her opinion was not taken into account lol.

Post # 9
Member
1210 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My SO and I did 6 months of counseling after we went through a rough patch. It’s been 5 months since we completed counseling and our relationship has never been better. I sincerely believe that if we’d never gone, we would have broken up. I think that misconception comes because many people use couples counseling as a last resort – so they’re already one foot out the door when they start. By that point, it may be too late and they break up anyone. I think couple’s counseling is a great option and a good way to head off problems that could become more severe later on. 

Post # 10
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My Fiance and I have agreed that if we ever need it, we both will get counseling together and apart if it may help the relationship. I don’t know that I could marry someone who thought counseling ends relationships. (I understand it’s a co-worker in this situation). I find his perspective kind of bizarre to be honest. 

Post # 12
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well, couples’ counseling has a not-so-great success rate–but that’s because usually by the time the couple tries it, it’s a last resort and the relationship is too far gone.

Post # 13
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Vandiver Inn

To echo what some other bee’s mentioned – I think it’s circumstantial. Both parties have to be open and willing to go to counseling and progress from it, which unfortunately, does not always happen. The hubs and I went for about 7 months before we got married, for both specific issues and just general premarital stuff, and I cross my heart hope to die swear that it has saved our relationship, *and* made it so much stronger. Think of it like a check up or maintenance – you need to go to the dentist to get your teeth cleaned, you need to get your hair trimmed to keep it healthy.. some couples go to counseling to keep the relationship healthy. Sometimes healthier than those who never go!!

Post # 14
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know of a couple whose relationship it saved.  The husband couldn’t have recommended it more enough.

 

I used couples therapy but went alone, but I was dealing with emotional abuse, a deal breaker.

 

I think it all comes down to the TYPE of issues a couple is having.  Some ore deal breaker issues, some are communication problems, etc.  Counseling covers all of those, so it’s hard to just say it works or does not work (or dooms it).

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