(Closed) Needed: Lessons Learned from former brides

posted 9 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ShaunaBrege:  just make sure you have clearly communicated with your wedding party, key players, and vendors about the million little details, timelines, locations, responsibilities and tasks…. before the wedding day.

I made up timelines in excel, using clip art, and send the pdfs to everyone a week before. I talked with my bridesmaids about what I wanted/needed them to do day-of, and also send a list to everyone. still, a few little things were missed, but the big stuff was taken care of.

i forgot to discuss with my ushers (my FI’s Dad and Uncle) about what we needed them to do. i left it in her hands to talk to them, since I thought she would see them at the hotel when they were getting ready. but of course, the Men were getting ready in a different room, and she barely got to tell them that they needed to show the guests to their seats.

however, they took it upon themselves to greet the guests at the entrance, so they were no where near the seating, and one of my ‘maids was running around trying to find the ushers since everyone was mingling and not sitting! finally she just loudly announced that people should find a seat. Sadly, her grandparents were not informed that they had two reserved seats in the front row. πŸ™

also, no one explained to the guests on the aisle seats how to use the petal cones. remember, us Brides know things that regular folk do not. So almost no one knew to empty the petals into your hand and then toss them at us as we walked back down the aisle. People were trying to throw them at us with the cone, and one taller guy just turned it upside down and emptied it close to my head as I walked past. It was kinda funny, but we didn’t get the effect I wanted for the photos of our recessional with the petal toss.

these are all silly little details, and it’s most important to roll with things. just make lots of lists of what you need to bring, and make sure everyone knows what to do, so you can just relax and enjoy your wedding day!

oh, and decorate the venue a day early!! and I also highly recommend doing a first look and formals before the ceremony… so you can just start to enjoy the cocktail hour with all your guests… but that’s just me.

good luck!!!

Post # 4
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Repeat yourself, repeat yourself, repeat yourself.  I assumed that saying something once was enough — it was not.  I showed up to my reception and none of the lovely appetizers were out, although my guests had been drinking for over an hour.  I mean, I specifically remember giving direction to my aunt on what to set out and when. 

Photog – I have zero photos of all the amazingly detailed items that I created for the wedding.  There are a few, but I had assumed (there is that word again) that it would be extremely obvious that I wanted photos of every square inch of the reception.  Nope.  Make sure you give a list to your photographer of explicit things that you will not be around to direct.  There was literally no time for me to even tell the photog that I wanting pics of the reception until all the food was gone and the buffet was a mess.  So frustrating.

Have a plan B for your hair.  Just do it.

Also, plan for everything involving decorations to take at least twice as long as you think.  THIS IS NO JOKE. Not only are you creating your vision, but it will take a lot of time to explain what you want exactly, then correct, then check up on, correct.

Make sure you remember to thank your family for coming before the ceremony.  You will have absolutely no time to spend with them because you’ll be too busy meeting HIS family members that you’ve never met before.  I felt awful for my family.

Oh and have a SHIT TON OF FUN.  Seriously, it’s a once in a lifetime event – make it worth it.  πŸ™‚

Post # 5
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ShaunaBrege:  Start the day at least an hour and a half before you think you should.  Everything always takes longer than you imagine.  It’s better to have some slow down time, rather than rush from one thing to the next.

Do a practice session with your flower girl. Kids get nervous and should receive very clear, easy to follow instructions.

Post # 9
11161 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Be incredibly thorough with your photographer and even when you think they get it explain it again. I told my photographer a few times that I was all about the details and yet many of those details that I labored over for months were not captures on film….I am really bummed.

Research the type of photos you like, any particular poses that you have to have etc and share these. You can’t blame them for missing something you want if you don’t communicate (or make it VERY obvious in my case).


Post # 10
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

This should be a no-brainer, but don’t drink too much the night before.

My Maid/Matron of Honor warned me (after her Rehearsal Dinner she was hugging trees, crying, apologizing to her dog, etc.), and I did okay at the dinner… problem was her husband bought a bottle of wine for the girls back at the hotel, and I ended up drinking WAY too much of it. If I could have a redo, that’s probably the only thing I’d change- 2 glasses of wine max! Waking up hung over on my wedding day was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had (thank God my hairdresser had Propel for me and I was ok by early afternoon)

DH and I took dance lessons, and my Dad and I also practiced our dance two times the month before the wedding. VERY glad I did both- those dances looked awesome! (Unlike DH and MIL- they were BOTH trying to lead!)

Post # 11
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Things are not as big a deal as they seem. Once its over you will realize you got upset/offended/angry for small reasons in the grand scheme of things.

It is one day and your day and you should enjoy it and love it and it should represent you. However your relationships with those involved last much longer than that one day. Be careful not to damage them because something seems like a big deal to you, but it may not seem so big later.

Post # 12
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Keeping an eye on this πŸ˜‰

Post # 13
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

YES! i second everything that has been said: especially not being hung over on wedding day, planning for everything to take longer than you think it will (everyone will thank you for not being rushed and stressed- yourself most of all!) and being very clear with your vendors (must-have photo list, discussed in detail) and key players what is supposed to happen, and when. πŸ™‚

but really, most importantly, don’t stress too much over the little details gone wrong in the moment. No one remembered (myself included) to unbustle my dress before I walked down the aisle — the one moment of the whole day that it WOULD be unbustled. My Mom quickly did it as I arrived at the altar, and then I mouthed my discontent to my Maid/Matron of Honor , and had a bit of a sour look on my face as the ceremony began. Later, my wife’s good friend asked her what I had been upset about. I wish I had just smiled and let it roll off my back (which i quickly did) instead of letting it show on my face.

Post # 14
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center

If you tend to get an overly-nervous or -excited tummy, take some anti-diarrheal medicine in the morning. πŸ™‚

Make a conscious effort to live in the present moment throughout the entire day. Pause and reflect on what is happening right then and there. It really helps you enjoy every moment of the day, and as a result I can remember every little thing that happened.

Don’t be left alone before the ceremony! It’s not the case with everyone, but some brides (myself included) started having a bit of an emotional overload/breakdown when they were left alone because suddenly all the emotion of the day was catching up at once. It was intense, so now I recommend always having a friend with you. After the ceremony is over is probably alright, since you’ll be more relaxed and in party mode.

Post # 15
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@ShaunaBrege:  I gave the DJ a list of songs I wanted played, but I didn’t specify when they should be played so some of the dancing songs were played during dinner. Really, it wasn’t a big deal because I just went up and told him that I wanted them played and he did. Bam.

Also, we had our ceremony starting at 4 and I wish so badly we would’ve waited to 5 or 5:30, that would have given people more time to get off work and get there and then they would have probably stayed later. Oh well.

If you’re doing any large family photos TELL EVERYONE BEFORE HAND. That way there isn’t confusion and rudeness πŸ™‚

Last, but not least, DO NOT STRESS OVER IT!!! Things will go wrong, it’s bound to happen but it’s not the end of the world. Just laugh it off and move on with everything because I doubt anyone will notice and you’ll be happier in the long run if you don’t dwell on it.

Post # 16
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Nothing went wrong at our wedding that i know of and that’s my first tip: ask the bridal party to ensure you never hear about any mishaps!

Do think about who and what needs to be where and when, eg does your dress bag need moving, do you have shoes to wear home after the wedding.

And if you’re wearing a veil, take a clothespeg. I asked my moh to bring one just in case – we used it to stop the veil blowing and flapping around while we did photos outside. 

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