(Closed) needing some hive hugs

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

*HUGS* I’m so sorry that your father can’t make it — for you and for him.

And of COURSE it’s alright to have a small ceremony where your father joins in with you. =)

Another thing you may want to think of is having a live video feed for your father to watch of your actual wedding, and he could maybe pre-record a reading/toast for you to play at the wedding so that, in some sense, he will be there. Just a thought.

*more HUGS* I know it hurts, and I’m so sorry that it does. Please let us know how this turns out. 

Post # 4
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m so sorry that you have to make this decision.  I think both choices are fine.  It’s your marriage, do what works for you.  And I agree with Jenniphyr that a live feed might be another option.  We’re just planning to send the final video to FI’s grandmother, though I know grandmother not being there is different than father.

I don’t really have any more specific advice, just wanted to send some warm thoughts your way.  And to let you know that there is no "right" decision here.  Please do whatever you decide in your heart makes sense for you and your family.  Do not worry about how things will "look" to other people.

Post # 5
1104 posts
Bumble bee

That sounds really horrible, you poor thing 🙁 My dad is an important part of my life and I would find it very difficult to get married without him! Just keep in mind…if you have a ceremony next week, you will be married. That means in December, you won’t be having a wedding. You will be renewing your vows (if you choose to have a ceremony), and having a reception. But if you and your fiance are comfortable and happy with this, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you have the wedding you want 🙂

Post # 6
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If I were in your shoes I would have the small ceremony with my daddy! You can always do the big one later so you dont lose the deposits and as long as your FH is ok with that then I would go for it. I’m a daddys girl all around and if my dad couldnt make my wedding I would make a way to have a wedding with him.  The only reason we are having a wedding and not eloping is because I want my dad to walk me down the isle and give me away, so I understand.  I hope you FH compromises with you and your day, no matter when, is very special!

Post # 7
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

Awww *HUGS!* I’m sorry about the situation!

I think it would definitely be fine to do a small religious ceremony that can include your father, as long as you are ready for it! I think it could be a very neat experience to have two separate ceremonies, one that is small and intimate, and one that is larger!

Post # 8
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m sorry about your situation **BIG HUGS**

Do you mind me asking why your dad won’t be able to make it to your wedding?  Is it money, distance, illness?  Of course, you don’t have to divulge this information publicly on WB if you’re not comfortable, I’m just really curious.  

I think you would be a wonderful daughter if you choose to include your dad in a more private ceremony next week.   It would seriously tear me apart knowing my dad lived with regret for not having attended my wedding… I personally wouldn’t be able to live with myself. 

I saw an episode of Say Yes to the Dress recently where the bride and groom had a very private family ceremony months before the actual wedding because her mother was dying of pancreatic cancer (and yes I was bawling watching it).  The doctors told the family that her mother would probably not make it to the wedding date, and she didn’t.  But because they decided to do a private ceremony, she has photos and memories of her mother at their marriage ceremony (her mom looked SO HAPPY).  Just something for you to contemplate…  I’m not sure what your situation with your dad is exactly.  Best of luck to you!  🙂

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