(( HUGS )) to you cause I can tell this is bothering you.
Truth is, he isn’t frugal with money… he just doesn’t want to buy you an ERing.
He doesn’t want to buy you an ERing because either… He isn’t ready to get Engaged… or he doesn’t want to get Engaged to you.
Guys don’t think like women… guys think like guys.
Your Guy is comfy in the relationship where it is… he see’s no reason to move it forward… only you do.
He is saying other stuff about a “Daydream Wedding” cause it isn’t real, and cause he knows it is “what you want to hear”
He’s playing you.
As Greg Behrendt says in his Book… “He’s Just Not That Into You”… “If he isn’t asking you to marry him”
Sweetie… he’s not asking. Plain & simple.
You need to clear the air with him… sit him down and get a once in for all definitive answer from him.
Share your LIFE PLAN… and listen for his.
If he isn’t talking Proposal, Engagement, Wedding etc in YOUR TIMEFRAME then you aren’t on the same page. Period.
As Steve Harvey says in his book “Act Like a Lady ~ Think Like a Man”
You are making stuff too easy for this guy… he is treated you this way because you haven’t set the Standards HIGH ENOUGH
“All I’m telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord’s green earth-you’re capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you’re independent (which means, to him, that you’re not going to be in his pockets)-but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.” (Steve Harvey)
A man that wants to get married, is moving heaven & earth to make it so. He has A PLAN. And is working that plan.
Re-read your post… he has no plan.
Re-read your post… you are making excuses for his not doing this thing you want more than any other… and he knows that… and he has the means to make it happen
And yet he doesn’t
THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES… time to listen
I mean seriously… I think that by paying for your own ring, that that will make this situation any better ?
It will just mean that you’ll be wearing a Ring that you bought yourself (and that isn’t what an ERing is supposed to be… NOR what you truly want for yourself).
You want a man to be over the moon in love with you… I can read it in your words
THIS MAN… isn’t
Buying your own ring sounds / is incredibly desperate… do you want to be seen as that desperate ?
Men don’t like desperate, they RUN from desperate.
Set the bar higher hon.
And if he cannot be the guy to reach high enough to meet your standards… someone else will.
Hope this helps,
PS… Pick yourself up a copy of one of Steve Harvey’s books… about how men think… it will change your world (and your relationship)