(Closed) Needs some bridesmaid advice

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2859 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

I think she’s being completely unreasonable. Why don’t you tell her exactly what you told us: how she’s hurting you?

Post # 4
3943 posts
Honey bee

I’m sorry that you have to deal with this and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to anyone, especially not your cousin. Since you don’t want to cause problems in the family I would maybe try to give her an out. Maybe go out to lunch with her and say something along the lines of that you understand where she is coming from but you and your fiance are happy with your decision. That you are both really looking forward to the reception and celebrating with everyone that you love. Also that you were so excited to ask her to be by your side on this special day and that if she doesn’t support your decision then you will understand if she doesn’t want to be in the wedding party anymore.

Hopefully she will either feel guilty and stop being so rude, or just drop out of the wedding party and miss being in such a fun wedding!!


Post # 5
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s very hard to try to keep your legal marriage a secret. Every new person you tell increases the chances of all of your other guests finding out. So I think you might have to live with the fact that a lot of guests will know that you’re legally married. 

Maybe you can give your cousin an out by saying something like “I’m so sorry you feel like this wedding isn’t real because we’re already legally married. We, our families, and our pastor feel differently, but you’re certainly entitled to your opinion. If you want to step down from being my bridesmaid, I would understand. But if you do want to stay in the wedding, I would really appreciate it if you could stay positive and supportive.” 

Post # 6
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with danadelphia, I would tell her that she is hurting my feelings. Not quite sure why she would even care honestly. It is not like you had to tell her, she would have never known. When a friend/family member tells me something that they do not want others to know, I feel honored that they put that much trust in me. 

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