(Closed) Negative Comments about marrying in your 30s

posted 8 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
4114 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve had the comments about kids and being old when they graduate high school but no comments about being old to be married or any of that. I’m 38 ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Don’t be too worried about people’s comments. I was 26 when I got married and still got the “It’s about time!!” in ADDITION to “You’re too young!!” We’ve been together 12 years. People just look for comments to make, they don’t think about feelings.  Let it roll off your back. =) Congrats!!!

Post # 5
1447 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I haven’t gotten catty comments about getting married, but I have had someone tell me the line on having kids.  She has her own fertility issues though, so I think this was more from her personal experience than being catty.

A lot of it does depend on the dominant culture where you live.  I’ve lived in cities where people get married relatively young and people who marry at an older age.

I think the best response you can make is that you’re happy you waited until the right guy came along.  ๐Ÿ˜‰


Post # 7
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

The average for first time marriage where I am until recently was 30, so I see nothing abnormal about this… my close friends started gatting married around the 27+ mark, so I’m not sure you’re abnormal at all…

Post # 8
2393 posts
Buzzing bee


One former coworker of mine said “i didn’t think anyone would want to have kids at your age, cause you’ll be so old when they graduate from high school” and goes on to say how great it is to be a younger mother. I could’ve said something about how at least i wasn’t a teenage mother who couldn’t even support my kids financially like she was, but of course i’m not going to be rude like she was.

Well, then, there ya go. I’m sorry, this is a clear cut case of her feeling resentful about being trapped, and envying you for doing things the right way.


And about this:

Really do people even think before they speak.


No! They don’t! LOL

I would chalk this one up to the mindset of people who have never been anywhere or done anything.

This is more of a reflection on them, their teeny-tiny brains and their lack of perspective than a reflection on you.

I didn’t meet my DH until I was in my late 40s. None of my friends or family made those comments to me — at least not to my face, haha!

As far as brides go, you’re a spring chicken compared to me… hope that makes you feel better!


And, congratulations!

Post # 9
1876 posts
Buzzing bee

@Allie99:  I am 31 and no one has said anything like that to me.  Maybe it has to do with the area you live in or the education levels of the people making the comments?  Educated and accomplished people tend to get married older.  Anyway, you are definitely not an old bride and those people are being rude.  I am sorry that they have offended you.  So far as kids go, the risk for a lot of complications goes up at 35, so that is probably what they are referring to in a very rude, unhelpful way, although you have not asked for their input.  I agree with you that it is far more respectable to be an older parent that can support their children, than to be a parent  who has kids before they can afford them, barely gets by, and/or lives off the government. You are lovely just the way you are. Don’t let negative people rain on your parade.  This is your time to enjoy being engaged, happy, and in love! 

Post # 10
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Where do you live? Almost nobody bets married before age 30 where I live in the Bay Area, and 33-38 is much more common. Move here! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I live in Alabama. I just married (for the first time) at 34. My friends have been married for years, passed their childbearing period, and some are on their second marriages. A few people did tease me about marrying “late”, and I’ve been bugged at work about when we will have kids (which, due to health reasons, may not be possible for me) so that stings more than the marriage” jabs.

It doesn’t matter when you marry. Sometimes it just takes while to find the right person! I’m glad you have.

Post # 12
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

Not in real life. It’s considered a normal time in life for a woman to marry, among my group.


Only on the bee did I discover that apparently I’m an “old crone”!!! lol!

Post # 13
2944 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ugh. People can be so stupid sometimes. I’m a few months away from 33, and this is my second marriage. Nobody has said anything but wonderful and gracious things to me. Some people just need a filter attached to them or someone screening what comes out of their mouths. 


Storytime…Fiance is 50. We received a beautiful engagement gift from one of his oldest friends. Mother of pearl and silver photo frame that would work so perfectly at the sign in table. However, on the card, the friend (woman) went on and on about how LUCKY he was to FINALLY be getting married AT HIS AGE and how I would have a lot of TRAINING to do since he’s such a LONG-TIME BACHELOR. This was months ago. To this day, he still can’t bring himself to write that thank you note. I’ve been shopping for a different picture frame to use for the reception.

Post # 14
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yes!!  And I found I got most of these comments from brides who were young when they were married (around 21/22).  I thought that was interesting.  I had someone ask me how I could “party” through my whole 20s.  “Isn’t that a long time to be just partying?”  I was like, uhh, i was in college, law school, and trying to do the right things.  Not exactly partying!  

I think those kinds of comments say more about the commenter than you!  Congratulations!! 

Post # 15
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I’ve had nothing but positive comments about my upcoming marriage.  No negative comments about my age either and i’m in my early 30s

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