(Closed) Negative Comments about marrying in your 30s

posted 9 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 32
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@BelliniChic:  

I would tell your coworker I’d be so sad if my children were already grown and left home before I even turned 50. Also, it’ll be a great thing not to be mistaken for my children’s sibling at their graduation!

Post # 33
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@walnutgirl:  Where is your S/O (I assume he’s American) from? I really think it’s a regional thing.

 

But I do agree that Europeaners tend to marry later. My S/O has a lot of friends from a more conservative European country (Poland) and even most of them wait until early-mid 30s to get married!

Post # 34
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m sort of the opposite, I’m 31 and have had anxiety about pregnancy most if my life. the older I got as a single woman the more the high school  biology lessons on genetics bore into my brain. Whenever I express worry about having children, everyone tells me a story about their 40 year old friend who just had a healthy baby. So I think pepole just like to talk.

Post # 35
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My best friend got married at 22, she was the first and considered a young bride for the area. We’re now 28 and I’m the next to get hitched, infact most of my other gf’s are still very single. 

26-34 seems to be the norm around here

Post # 36
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

i’m 33 and will be married later this year when I’m 34. I am literally like the second of all my girl friends to get married – only 2 out of 10 of my bridesmaids are married and we’re all in our 30’s. I do live in NYC so i know it skews later – but just don’t listen.

and my mom – who has always been supportive of me getting my career in order and finding the right person has just started the baby rant (better start soon!) for the first time but I just think she’s bored. We ignore her.

Post # 37
Member
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Allie99:  i am 31 (32 when I get married) and Fiance is 35.  We are both marrying for the first time.  No one has ever said anything negative to me. 

I only have ever heard, “You are so pretty, I don’t know why you aren’t married yet.”

That annoyed me more than anything.

A friend of mine is 44, she got married 5 years ago for the first time and got pregnant right away.  Her DH is a few years younger than her, his first marriage also.  They never got any negative comments about their marriage.

I’m sorry people are saying bad things to you.  I would just ignore them.

Post # 39
Member
774 posts
Busy bee

I’m not in my 30s but I just wanted to respond to some of you worried about being an older mum. My mum is older, was 54 the year I graduated highschool and while there were a fewtimes I noticed the difference when I was younger, I have such a strong bond with my mum. I think I matured faster than others (in a good way) and am more realistic than others. I would not change my mums age at all! Nothing to worry about at all.

Post # 40
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I get the ” you better have children right away” it irks me! I usually bite my tongue. I know people just love to put others down. Don’t listen to them!

Post # 41
Member
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Come live here in Spain where  you can constantly be told 26 is way too young to get married, that your throwing your life away and should be partying, that once you get married thats it or you should get married but wait to have kids 

 

IS IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS???

 

Its almost like they view marriage as a death sentence although over here it is much harder to have a family and a career etc 

Post # 42
Member
2953 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If anyone makes a comment to me like I’m old and it’s about time, I’ll just laugh in their face! Get real!

Post # 43
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe it’s the area where you’re from?   I’ll be 33 when I get married but I’ve never gotten the “wow you’re old!” comment from people before.  I still have a fair mixture of married & single friends, and there’s also a few people in our circle who’ve gotten married, divorced, and are on their 2nd marriage – and we’re all the same age (give or take a year or two).  In the DC metro area, it’s normal for people to marry later because most young people are busy pursuing their careers in their 20s.

 

 

I did get a few comments about the “you need to have a baby ASAP given your age!” but it’s mainly from family members who are doctors, and it doesn’t bother me b/c I know they’re just speaking from their professional experience/knowledge.   

 

 

Don’t let people’s comments bother you too much!  Everyone has their own timing and “season of love” when it comes to marriage/babies, so if your time is in your 30s than it just means NOW is your love season 🙂   

 

Post # 44
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It makes me laugh when people consider a 33 year old bride (like me and a bunch of you too!) to be old.  I’ve lived all over the world, have an advanced degree & enough experience in relationships to know how to make things work for the long term.  Same with Fiance except he has two advanced degrees!  I live in Chicago and have very few married friends.  Most of our friends are 25-45 and mostly everyone we know who actually lives in the city (vs. people who commute from the burbs like some of our coworkers) is single.  Maybe it’s bc I am still relatively new here that I haven’t gotten the vibe that this site skews young?  Everyone seems friendly/helpful!

 

Luckily I have parents who had us when they were young and are really happy that we are waiting on the baby front.  Partially bc I think my mom thinks she’s too young to be a grandma (haha) but also my parents have told me how hard it was on them when they were young/trying to make ends meet with 4 children & that won’t be our situation at all.  We’ve been badasses at saving/investing through our 20s instead of blowing our cash on diapers & other child-related whatnots.

Post # 45
Member
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Warning – I haven’t read all the posts. But if it makes you feel any better, I’m 30, and when I read your title I thought “I wonder if people think that’s too young or too old?” Honestly, people make comments that they don’t really think about and it sucks. But I wouldn’t let it get to you. And I agree that you don’t need to be in any rush to start having kids.

Post # 46
Member
2274 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Life rule: People are jerks.  Ignore them.

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