Post # 1
I told an associate where I was getting married and she told me that she did not like my venue along with a couple of other insults. Crazy thing is that I have to invite her to my wedding because she’s married to a good friend of mine. I KNOW I shouldn’t care because its her opinion and I love my venue, but I thought it was rude of her to be so blunt, especially since it was other people in the conversation with us.
How do you deal with blunt/rude comments about your wedding choices. I’m the type of person that cares alot about what people think and I’m trying to get over that…I’m even considering some therapy sessions because the people around me are so non-chalant that I feel like an alien, lol.
Thanks 4 ur input!
Post # 3
We get a lot of comments about our wedding date. We have a few standard responses that tend to get the point across and make the person feel embarrassed while still seeming tactful. It doesn’t make it any less annoying though. I sort of wish it was okay to kick the people with bad manners and then give them the standard response. I actually thanked someone the other day for not saying something since they were one of the few!
As for your rude lady, I would just say something like “Sorry to hear you had a bad experience there. They’ve done a lot of improvements at the venue recently (even if they haven’t) and we’re really excited to have our wedding there!” If I were in a particularly snarky mood I might make a comment about “Sorry we’ll miss you then, our experience there has been terrific and we’re really looking forward to it!”, but I realize this may not be the best response 😉 Unfortunately weddings tend to bring out the inner b!tch in people a lot and you just have to try to be tactful and move on.
Post # 5
I’ve received a bunch of rude comments and I feel like most people don’t realize how rude they are unless you say something. What some people may think is a benign comment is an insult to someone who has spent so much time planning a wedding. So I usually reply with “yeah but, we really like the location,” or “I know it’s inconvenient to some so we understand if certain people can’t make it.” Basically, I let them know that we don’t agree. Of course there are still comments I hear through the grapevine, those annoy me the most. My attitude on those are “oh well, you don’t have the guts to say it to me, then I don’t need to think about anymore. and, you suck.” 😉 Sorry, that was off topic. lol
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2010 - Rancho San Carlos
I think some people actually think they are helping with the criticism. When my dad first saw our venue, he had so many negative things to say about it – people might get cold, the bathrooms are too far from the reception, cell phones don’t work, if it rains there will be mud, etc, etc, etc. But it’s his way of contributing. I know it’s frustrating, and it’s like the reverse of “can’t say anything nice.” They feel like the have to say something even if it’s negative.
The important thing is to remember that this wedding is about you and your fiance’s wishes, and not your co-workers. You can’t please everyone on your guest list. Some will want indoors, and some will want out. Good luck!
Post # 7
Thanks again Ladies. I feel alot better after reading your experiences. I just need to keep reminding myself that its about what My Fiance and I want and not anyone else.
Post # 8
SO glad we were not the only ones. We are getting married in late August in the mid-west which could be god-awful hot or it could be mild – you just never know. I have had comments like “Oh… You’re going to be sweating like a pig in your dress” and “Why did you pick such a hot month?” Well, you have fun sitting at home, because we’ll be at our air-conditioned reception having fun!
My other favorite one was when I was talking to a friend at a bar right after we got engaged and the guy she was sitting with looked at me and goes “Yeah, I’ll get married when I want to give away all my money and stop having sex.”
I was totally unprepared for the negative comments we would get, glad we weren’t the only ones!
Post # 9
People (my family) have been super snarky about my venue…. to the point of making me think it wasn’t worthy of a wedding – but, that’s not the case at all. I think sometimes, you need to listen to their input – thank them (or just nod in acknowledgement that you heard them) – and then either just not say anything else – but continue on your planning way.
In the case you described – if it happens again – you could tell her all the things you love about it (or why you chose it) – but you may be wasting your breath if she just argues with you.
After something like that happens – remind yourself why you chose the venue to begin with… and, quite frankly, the things that are important to other people may not be important to you (and vice versa).
Post # 10
When a girl at my work heard we’re getting married on Memorial Day, she freaked out that “it’s very bad karma to get married on a day for dead people” ! I just laughed it off. We did get married on Memorial Day, it was beautiful, the sky didn’t fall on our heads, and there’s no dark cloud over our marriage. I think in your case you just gotta ignore the comment and reassure yourself that you have a much better and educated opinion of the venue than she does.
Post # 11
Ya know, I think that no matter what some people have something negative to say! We got married December 16 but did not use a “Christmas” theme and people either thought it was weird or — not realizing we weren’t using that theme — didn’t come because they said they didn’t like Christmas weddings!
My Uncle’s grandchild was born on 9/11 and people asked if they were going to celebrate his birthday a different day?!!
If it weren’t the venue it would be something else . . .
Post # 12
You ladies are the absolute best to share your experiences. It feels good to know that it happens to alot of us. I’m not even upset anymore because I love my historic venue 🙂 and I look forward to July next year.
Post # 13
What really gets me is that people are so judgemental- without knowing anything about your situation. They just make themselves look like an a**, but they don’t even realize. Rude people are everywhere, along with tactless, classless, and un-intuitive people. People that can’t be happy are always going to put it off on something else- they won’t like this or that or that. Then, like others said, there are the people that think they are helping by being negative, then there are the people that love to disagree or just hear themselves talk or hear their opinion. They important thing, I think- is not to let them make you feel small. Tell that girl “I just really don’t want to hear any negative comments.” or “Well, I love it!” Confidently. Some people just like to rain on a parade, some people are jealous. Depending on who you are dealing with, there is everything out there. Some people just are clueless how they are coming across. Somepeople are going to be unhappy no matter what, because they just are. 😉
Post # 14
Perfectly said Cbee!!! I wish every bride to be could read this, it helps alot to know these things when dealing with a negative person. I’m definitely prepared for the future.
Post # 15
ignore that rude lady I swear some people just dont have any tac. next time insult her about something of hers and maybe she will see how it feels.
Post # 16
I’m in the same boat as all you girls. Co-workers, friends and family always saying something negative about how much money I spending on the wedding, photograpy, my dress, vanue and etc. It doesn’t stop. My favorite is ” You know you could use that money for a down payment for a house right?” Yeah, I know but I’m going to get married once and do it the way I want so I won’t have any regrets. In the end you have to think about you and your fiance spending the rest of your lives together and don’t let the negative comments bother you.