(Closed) Negativity

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My family doesn’t care overly. As long as I don’t elope. I am trying to do a wedding on a 2k budget. Am I insane? Probably but I know it can be done. I mean, at least your family isn’t all up in your business about every single aspect of your wedding? That is something I am grateful for.

Post # 5
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

I know how you feel. My family has been awesome. Most of my FI’s family has been great. The others? Some of them won’t be coming to the wedding because they don’t support our relationship, and even though it would be nice to have their support, if they are going to bring their judgmental, negative attitudes to what is supposed to be one of the happiest days in their family’s lives, they have bigger problems. I just try to breath and let it go, but having to see them at family events and hear their woe-is-me stories and self-centered attitudes just makes me sick.

Post # 6
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry you aren’t receiving the congratulatory joyful responses you so deserve. Love is a rare thing, lasting love even more rare. Sometimes when someone announces an engagement, people start to think of their own relationships, triumphs and pitfalls. My guess? They’re jealous, or too consumed by their own misery and narrow perceptions to see past their noses. Don’t let ’em bring ya down. Forgive them and hope for them that they can some day get past all of that ick for themselves. Then, stick close to those that *do* share in your happiness. They may be a precious few, but boy, will that make all the difference for you. Oh, and seat the complainers/whiners as faaaaaaar away as possible from your table on your big day. 😉 

Post # 7
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MaiFuture: Yeah, I am pretty sure my cousins think they are going to be able to bring random dates…THINK AGAIN!

Post # 8
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can relate!

My dad’s family is like this, but it is balanced out by how supportive and wonderful FI’s family has been–and my mom’s side!

FI’s aunt threw our engagement party (no one else offered because most of my family didn’t even know that that was something you did) and I, of course, sent invites to all of my dad’s family.  None of them RSVPed yes.  

When my grandmother called my mom about the invite, she asked, “Do I really need to go to this? December is a busy month for me.  We were thinking of just having them over for dinner here, with OUR family.”  

First, December is a whole friggin month, and you’re retired!  And it’s like they don’t even want to have anything to do with his family.  My mom convinced her to go, but in the end she got lucky because it snowed really badly the day of the party and the roads were too treacherous for her (she lives in the mountains).

Just think about how supportive the other people in your lives are, that’s what I try to do.

Post # 10
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MaiFuture: I understand. Would it be possible to sit any of them down and talk with them about this? Or maybe involve whomever in a small wedding-related task like, oh I don’t know, looking through magazine at floral designs? Maybe it’ll take opening up to them and making them feel special with you on your journey for them to see how happy you are to include them? Sending you virtual hugs and hoping they’ll come around. Blessing to you on your special day. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My fiance’s family is really excited and supportive.  My mom, on the other hand, called me crying last week saying that I’m making huge mistake getting married, that I’m too young, and that she just KNOWS I’m going to go to her within 10 years and tell her that she was right all along and that I ruined my life. :/ It makes me upset but then I look at wedding blogs and I get over it lol

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