Post # 46
I noticed the same thing when I was pregnant. People told us all the time how awful pregnancy was (mine was incredible), how terrifying labor would be (I enjoyed mine even though i labored for 38 hours and ended in a csection), and how hard the newborn stage is (I got more rest with a newborn than I did when super pregnant haha!). So they were wrong every time. Of course there are some things about parenting that aren’t easy but what good thing in life is ever easy?
When people told me of the drudgery that is parenting but ended it with “well then they smile and it’s worth it” or some weird lame comment, i assumed it would be weeks of slogging through life just for a cute moment here and there. But it’s not like that at all. those “worth it” moments happen every single day. When your newborn smiles and coos at you, when you watch your baby eating solids, when they crawl around after the dog, when they walk around with their chubby baby legs, when they start talking, when he snuggles up next to you and says I love you. That all happens every day, so every day you feel it’s worth it. Of course there are super tough moments too, but you grow as a parent with your kid, so you’re constantly getting better at handling the next new stage. Parenting is awesome, don’t let them get you down!
Post # 47
hickoryhills : Ugh. People are the worst. I am very recently married and we are hoping to TTC at the end of the year. My friend seem desperate for me to join their Mummy gang, but all they do is moan about their kids and how hard being a parent it.
I know enough people to know that having a baby is freaking hard work, and no one seems to have it easy.
I was 5 weeks married and went out to dinner with my girlfriends and they spent the WHOLE evening moaning about parenthood, then one of them asked me if I was pregnant yet (5 weeks after my wedding!) – I told them if they ask me that every time they see me I will be seeing less of them and suggested that maybe if they ever took 5 minute break from their moaning they would make it seem a whole lot more appealing. I do get it is their time to blow off some steam but it seems mad to spend the evening moaning and then be shocked that the only non-parent in the group isn’t pregnant yet!
I think you need to try and move past these comments, you seem to have your head screwed on, you know it isn’t going to be a walk in the park but want to give it a shot regardless, don’t let others negativity stop you from achieving what you want out of life.
Post # 48
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
You all are seriously so helpful, and thank you to everyone who’s been adding to the positivity. It’s encouraging to hear your stories and perspectives, and I feel even more confident that I’m not going into this completely blind. My expectations seem to match up exactly with what a lot of you are saying: 1) you can’t predict anything, so just be prepared to duck and weave if things get hard, 2) things WILL get hard and there will be periods of massive suck, but that’s ok because that’s…literally just how life works, and 3) kids really are great for most people and the rewards balance out the trials, 4) I need to be careful with who I surround myself with, and if my current circle is weighing me down then I can find a new one. I feel way less stressed now, and I had a great talk with my fiance last night about the whole thing and showed him a lot of your comments. He was wonderful and said that he “has my six” if people get pushy or aren’t respecting boundaries, so it’s great that he’s being so supportive as well.
Post # 49
hickoryhills : my three year old daughter woke up at 2 this morning throwing a fit. She comes to our bed in the middle of the night but this night took her a while to settle. She said, and I quote “I DON’T WANT DADDY TO LOOK AT MEEEEE” and she was crying and flailing and I was like… I’m leaving this bed if you keep kicking me
But she settled and we fell back asleep and I’ll tell you what, I miss her little face today, I would love to be snuggling her all day 😆 it’s tough but you just do what you have to do and move forward
Post # 50
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
Sansa85 : I do also think there’s a side of parenting that is equally as hilarous as it is exhausting. My sister has two kids and when they were small she would text me all the time of the weiiiiirdest shiiiiiit that they would come up with. It’s frustrating that they know literally nothing about the world and you have to teach them all of it…but it’s also frigging hilarious that they know nothing about the world and misfire on stuff all the time. “I don’t want daddy to look at me” at 2am is right up there with “my corn is lonely” (a comment from my niece when she got put in time out during dinner).
Post # 51
hickoryhills : especially once you hit toddler stage the shit that comes out of their mouths is crazy. My 2 year old has busted in on my husband peeing and yelled at him to “sit dada! you have to sit on the potty!” hahaha. The other day going to school I asked her if she was going to bite her friend again and she said “no. and no bite [different kid] either!” Uh…. ok good to know you won’t bite that kid either, but were you considering it?
Post # 52
I honestly think the mothers who have it the worst or who have the most horrific war stories are ones who have crappy partners. In all honesty, it’s tough and there are some truly hard parts– but having a partner that is as committed as you are to being a parent and actually parenting is the true differentiating factor. Kids are kids– they cry, they wake up at night, etc– but they also do joyous things you don’t even know you’ll care about until you find yourself staring at your 7 month old amazed.
So my biggest piece of advice to anyone looking to start a family is really look who you’re partnering with when you’re getting this family started, that will make a HUGE difference in your experience as a mom.
Post # 53
fromatoz : This is so spot on and really helpful to remember.
Post # 54
smallbee : Ha, this is exactly how I was. I heard so much about how terrible the newborn phase was, but those were seriously some of the most joyous months of my life. I’m not sure if the breastfeeding hormones just really agreed with me or something, but I feel like I had the opposite of postpartum depression. Postpartum euphoria? Is that a thing?
OP, I absolutely love being a mother. I really loved my pre baby life, and I was so worried I would regret having a child. Now thinking about how close I came to living my life without my daughter feels weirdly unsettling. Like, I almost missed the most amazing experience of my life, and I’m so, so thankful that I didn’t. Obviously it’s hard sometimes, but for me it’s way, way, way more good than bad.
Post # 55
I wonder if they were trying to prepare you for the negative aspects of parenting.
Anything worth doing is hard at times. It doesn’t mean that you won’t enjoy raising children.