(Closed) Neighbor issues Need Help

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would just let it go.  To me, it wouldn’t be worth starting sh*t with your neighbors. 

Your guests aren’t going to care what your neighbors yard looks like.

Post # 4
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah, that sucks but really, none of your guests are going to be focused on your neighbors yeard. Really not a big deal.

Post # 5
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You could maybe offer them money to clean it up or to hire it done.  That might be the most likely to actually work.

Or if it is bad enough, you may be able to report them to the city.  Our city has some laws on things like that, and you can do an online anonymous report.  Of course it’s likely that the people will know it was one of their neighbors, but they won’t know for sure.  

Otherwise I’d just try to ignore it.  My neighbors let the side yard between our two yards (including sometimes on my part of the yard) get completely horrible with dog crap.  I’ve asked them to pick up and sometimes they do, but most of the time they don’t.  This is against the city laws, so I could report it, but so far I don’t.  I did send them a letter with the city laws hilighted, and for a while it got better, but after a while they slacked off again.

Post # 6
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Jennlee:  “You could maybe offer them money to clean it up or to hire it done.  That might be the most likely to actually work.”

They would probably take major offense to this.  Because you’re not only saying, “your yard is really ugly”, but you’re also implying it’s so ugly because they can’t afford to take care of it.

Post # 7
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If you have a home owners association, you can report it to them…


Other than that, there’s nothing you can do.

Post # 8
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@FutureMrsClayshulte:  Maybe just explain the situation to them and see if they’ll get it straightened up.  If not, I’d call the HOA (that’s why you pay them).  When they moved into the community they agreed to abide by the guidelines.

Post # 9
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well you really only have three choices that I can see:

1. Have a grown-up chat with the neighbors, explaining how important this event is to you, and asking if they would do you a favor by tidying their yard so your guests can enjoy the view

2. Grow some bamboo or other tall, thick plants to block the view of the neighbors’ yard (which unfortunately also blocks the view of the lake)

3. Suck it up and don’t say anything

I suppose your fourth option would be to host the dinner elsewhere.

Post # 10
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s their yard you can’t really tell them what to do. Taking it up with the HOA Is the only thing you can do about it. Can you put up a fence?

Post # 11
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oh boy, does this post take me back….the people that lived next door to my childhood home could give your neighbors a run for their money…they used to burn their trash, which it totally illegal and STINKY!!  The patriarch of the family had not purchased a new pair of pants since 1972…and just used to leave them unbuttoned, unzipped, go shirtless and let his heaving, shiny gut hang over them…they had a dog run next to our property, where they would throw deer carcasses and let the dogs gnaw on them…

But the final straw came on a beautiful June day, we were having a bbq in our backyard, which was wreathed in 10 foot tall lilac bushes in full bloom, the pianist we’d hired was playing some light old fashioned tune, there were children making homemade ice cream with my Aunt Ida, ladies in white playing croquet on the lawn, some gentlemen under the cottonwood tree smoking cigars…and suddenly…it all came crashing down.

Over the top of the lilac bushes on the West side of the property, you see our neighbor, bare chested and bouncing on a trampoline, his mighty stomach quivering in the sun and he goes up…and down….and up….and down….the entire party went silent watching this horriific spectacle…even the pianist stopped playing and all that could be heard was the protesting creak of the rusty springs of that unfortunate trampoline, straining under the weight of this bulging man upon his descent….

Do yourself a favor, report those cretins to the HOA and if they ask, say you had one of the board members asking about your backyard and they saw the horror show that is theirs…

Post # 12
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Why don’t you have a little get-together for the HOA board, or offer to host the next monthly/quarterly meeting at your house. Then once they are there, make sure they take a look outside (not sure if it’s warm enough to host outside in your area or not). That way, they take it upon themselves to get your neighbor to clean up and you can play dumb since you hosted them but didn’t make the report.

Post # 14
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@FutureMrsClayshulte:  Ditto inviting HOA board over for a backyard get-together ASAP so they can see it.

In the meantime you can however politely warn them you will be having company that day and you are apologizing for the noise in advance.  If they are good people they will take that as a hint to clean up their backyard.  But asking them directly without having a good relationship with them is typically not a good idea; it embarasses them and then they might retaliate.

Post # 15
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Nona99:  that’s a hilarious mental picture

Post # 16
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

That is what the HOA is for. Or o plant bushes. Or bamboo in a trough so it doesn’t take over the yard but makes a lovely and fast growing wall. 

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