(Closed) Neighbor vent, but could use some outside perspective ;)

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
302 posts
Helper bee

I would personally ignore it and continue placing them where ever you want. Let her be passive aggressive and certainly don’t confront her – which would give her a reason to escalate the situation and talk to other neighbors behind your back. 

Post # 3
2709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ugh, old neighbors with nothing better to do are the worst!  Was there even a please?  Geeze.

Honestly, I would talk to your other neighbors (not the nosey lady).  Tell them you got a note about the dogs making lots of noise and ask if they were disturbed by it.  If yes, then I’d look to move the crates.  Otherwise, I’d just ignore the note.  She either *thought* she heard the dog or heard one bark and decided to make a big deal out of it.

If you get more notes, then you can look to talk to her or move your dogs.

OR, you could talk to her, apologize profously, tell her you’ll move the dogs back inside, then just keep your dogs in the garage as usual.  She probably wouldn’t even notice…

Post # 5
7411 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I do a lot of telecommuting and my fi telecommutes all the time (doesn’t even have an office) so we can say without a doubt that our neighbor’s dogs bark waaaay more when the neighbors are not home than when they are home. Your dogs can hear you when you pull into your driveway and it’s absolutely possible that they bark and raise hell for hours, and suddenly calm down when they hear you coming.  Happens to our neighbors all the time.   So just because your dogs weren’t barking when your FH came home doesn’t mean they weren’t really noisy the rest of the day. And just because they’re quiet at night doesn’t mean they’re quiet when you aren’t home.  

You also may be taking the “barked all day” too literally– I definitely doubt that your dogs barked for 8 or 9 hours straight, but they may have been very noisy on and off throughout the day, and for someone who is trying to enjoy their home (or get some work done!) it gets *very annoying* very quickly.

Yes it would have been a lot nicer if the neighbor had come over to talk to you instead of leaving a note, or left a handwritten note, but I think you need to look past that. Some people are just very nonconfrontational and like the anonymous nature of a note.  And while your gut instinct says it was your nosy neighbor, you’ve really got no proof of that, and it could still turn out that someone 6 houses away left that note. Don’t be so quick to assume that the nosy neighbor is the only one who could be complaining.

It comes down to someone who was home saying your dogs were disruptive, and you not having been home to refute that. Chances are, they are not making it up, and honestly it doesn’t matter if the dogs were distruptive for 2 hours, 7 hours, or 15-minute blocks every hour; they’re still distruptive. Which is to be expected when you radically change their routine by moving where their crates are. Move them back in and maybe even bake some cookies and pass them out to all the neighbors as an apology.

(PS I am a dog owner so I am not one of those anti-dog people who just assume everything is the dog’s fault. I just happen to be home a lot when other people are working and I’ve seen all sorts of dog behavior that their owners might not believe.)

Post # 8
4692 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Indoor dogs? Like… you don’t walk them and exercise them outside? I would bark too!

Post # 9
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ignore the note. Until there is a person behind the concern ie HOA, animal control or identified neighbor or more complaints then just go about your day business as usual. If your dogs had been roaming the neighborhood or seen hurting a child I would investigate more with each neighbor. 

Post # 10
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

lealorali:  “Indoor dogs” means that the dog primarily lives inside and is not chained up outside or in a fence outside all the time.

Post # 11
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Lecate:  My take is this:  Unless you have shared walls with your neighbor, then what your dogs do, inside your free-standing home, of which you own cannot get you ‘in a lot of trouble’ by outside enforcers.  Sure they can impose a fine, but the dogs would have to be pretty boisterous ALL DAY for them to do so.  AND, since this is a new problem since you moved them, you have a plan B in the event enforcement does step in.

I find stuff like this to be absolutely annoying.  Can you tell I have dealt with it in the past?!  I know that dogs barking quite a bit can be irritating, but they are dogs, and they are in their home.  Dogs bark. Dogs bark if they hear something, or sense something, or the mailman stops by, etc.  I want my dogs to bark at strangers if I am not home.  I want them to bark if I am home.  That is partially why I have dogs!!

I think if you were leaving them outside all day long, and they barked all day long, then that seems more intrusive on your neighbors, because it would be louder – and the noise travels too.  But, they are not.  

In short, unless this neighbor wants to approach you in a mature/non-argumentative manner, and come to you with concerns, and hopefully find a fair conclusion for everyone, then I would leave them in the garage (for their safety, in the AC).  Leaving an unsigned note on your door is silly, and needs no further action by you at this point.  Heck, I am certain it may have induced further barking because someone was on your property!!!!!!  


Post # 12
7411 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

OUgal0004:  The quality of your relationships with your neighbors can have a huge impact on your overall quality of life, and while there is always going to be give-and-take on both sides of the relationship, people need to at least try to be respectful of their neighbors’ rights to enjoy their home, and try not to do anything to disturb that. If you want to keep dogs and not have to worry about them barking, then perhaps a rural home is for you; if the next neighbor is a mile away, then doggie can bark his head off without disturbing anyone. But even without shared walls, excessive barking is annoying and it’s not fair on your neighbors to allow it to continue.  You may not get a fine unless there’s a noise ordinance, but your neighbors over time will grow to dislike you and maybe downright hate you, and not only will that be a big stress until someone moves, it’s likely to escalate. Like they’re pissed about years of barking dogs, and when you want to throw a back yard BBQ party, they’re on the phone with the cops at exactly 9pm complaining about the noise.  If you had a good relationship, then not only do your neighbors become your friends, but they’re more willing to cut you some slack on the small stuff (and they’ll probably come to your BBQ instead of sitting home complaining about the noise).

That said, there is a difference between the occasional protective bark when a stranger comes to the door, and a frequent or constant barking for no reason (which often sets off all the other dogs in the neighborhood). So if you’re living in the average city or suburb, where homes are fairly close together even if they’re not attached, the attitude of “dogs will bark, they are dogs, that is what they are going to do” is inconsiderate of your neighbors and will not win you any popularity contests.

My block does not have off-street parking. No one has a driveway and we all park in the street. If my neighbor throws a birthday party for their kid, and there are so many guests’ cars that all the parking spaces are full, it’s annoying but it’s an expected part of city life; I park 2 blocks away and move on with life (and wish his kid a happy birthday).  But if every Sunday that neighbor has the entire church community over, and their cars fill my street every single Sunday for hours, that’s inconsiderate and it’s not fair on me.   See the difference?  And if I absolutely cannot tolerate not having a parking space right in front of my house, then I need to move to a new house with a driveway.

Post # 13
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You’re never going to be able to prove how loud your dogs are unless you go full super-sleuth with like a webcam or a recorder. And I agree that you shoudn’t confront your neighbour; you don’t know for-sure that it was her and you don’t know for-sure that what she wrote isn’t true.

I say just ignore it, until the situation escalates to the inclusion of some kind of authority figure. If you’re close to anyone else in the neighbourhood, you can ask them if they’ve noticed a noise problem and if they say yes, then it might be time to bring the dogs in. Otherwise, pretend it didn’t happen.

Post # 14
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Horseradish:  Yes, all your points are absolutely true.  I believe a strong relationship with neighbors goes both ways.  The problem is that the dogs are not new, but the barking is, which by default means that the newer (albeit safer, assuming there is no AC in the bedroom) housing for the dogs has caused the barking/disruption.  She has a plan B, and can utilize it, absolutely.  

However, tolerance and respect goes both ways, and in order to maintain the nice/respectful relationships with your neighbors, I think the neighbor needed to be more specific on the issue, and should have communicated the concerns in a better way, in my opinion.  The note on the door did not.  Even if the note was the only option, I would have written something nicer, and more specific to the situation.  “Hey neighbor, just recently there seems to be excessive barking coming from your garage! I am concerned it is becoming excessive, and can be heard in my home throughout the day.  Can we please discuss this further?  Is there any way we can please alter the situation, as it was not a problem before?!  Signed, neighbor.

As a dog owner, and their neighbor, I take kindly to that type of request.  I would absolutely try to alleviate the situation, or explain the situation better.  “We do not have AC, the garage does. We thought it would be safer.  Since it is new for the dogs, can we try it for a week to see if they quiet down?  Or, if not, I will move them. I am sorry!!

It just seems more neighborly and different, in my opinion, and I absolutely hope that in any situation where one neighbor or another is unhappy, the same stands true.

We threw a party the other weekend, and told our neighbors out of respect.  One asked us to please turn off any outdoor music at 11pm.  We turned it off at 10, because we appreciated that they asked us, rather than call the cops.  Ya know?!

Post # 15
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Do your dogs know speak as a command? Mine used to bark when the doorbell was rung and we weren’t in (according to my Mum who visited and arrived too early!) After we taught them to speak they stopped and now they only bark if we command them. 

Could you film/record you dogs when you are out? As pp have said your dogs might calm after hearing you and if they are like mine they can hear you coming half a mile away! At least if they are quiet and you get more moans you can show the recording to your nosy neighbour as proof.

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