Post # 1
So, I’ve been engaged for 4 up years and we’ve finally set a date (26 April 2014). I can’t wait, the planning is pretty much done.. Except that I don’t want either of my parents there. There’s a lot if reasons and a long history. Basically, they were awful parents and I moved in with my grandparents at 8 years old. Neither of them really recognise that at I don’t want to be close to them, or that we don’t have a relationship, they ignore everything and think its alright.
Having them there would be horrible for me, but I’m not sure how to tell them they won’t be getting an invite.. I’m not sure if I want to tell them I’m getting married at all.. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I’m lost at how to deal with it, because no matter what, it will cause conflict.
Post # 3
How often do you speak to them? Is it once a year or fairly frequently? Are you having a big wedding or a small one?
I don’t have any experience with this type of situation at all. But, I think if you tell them you’re getting married and purposefully not inviting them, that will probably cause the most conflict. You will have to deal with it up until your wedding. If they find out after the fact (after the wedding has already happened) it might be a little less drama because they won’t be able to plead their case to beinvited.
Post # 4
Do you speak to them? If you don’t then just plan your wedding, send invites to those you want to attend, and don’t say anything to them. I hope it works out for you. I am glad you had your grandparents!
Post # 5
@Brooke1226: Well you can just not tell them or talk about the wedding – if you’re at all in contact with them. Would they know any family that would know the date? Perhaps you can ask that they not share the date with otheres.
Post # 6
I would just not invite them. If they find out and ask, be very honest with them. If that sounds like too much, think of what it would be like if they came. It is going to be your day and you should be as comfortable as possible.
Post # 7
This was one of the reasons my husband and I eloped. I just couldn’t find a nice way to say “screw you” when I have so much contact with my folks (live close and work with them). Have you considered eloping and then hosting a party later on? That way you can hand-pick who is there for your special day and not have to worry about them being a part of your ceremony.
Post # 8
I only speak to them every few months, and its usually just to check in and see how my siblings are (they both have two children to other people). It’s also worth mentioning that I’m not in the same state, I moved away (mostly because I couldn’t deal with them in my life) about 5 years ago.
My grandparents will be coming, and its going to be difficult for my grandmother not to tell her daughter (my mum). I don’t want to put them in that position, so I was considering not telling grandparents until a few months before.
thanks for the replies! I feel really stuck.