(Closed) Nervous About Announcing Engagement To Family

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

What a tough situation!  I would think that your parents would respect the maturity of coming and talking to them in person about and would probably be more upset that you didn’t think you could talk to them in person about it.   While they make not have the most positive reaction to start with, hopefully over time they will see how happy you are and will also be happy for you!

 

Post # 4
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t bring up the church thing right away.  Just tell them about the engagement and worry about the plan later.  If they give you a hard time, just say “Thanks for your concern.” and leave it at that.  Congratulations to both of you!

Post # 5
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

@Beckster329: This is a good response.

OP, I agree with sticking to just the engagement news for the moment. Pick one battle at a time. If you’re asked about wedding details, say you haven’t gotten quite that far yet, you want to explore the many options available first.

As for your parents and the overall reaction to your Fiance, well, that’s a little tougher. You’re both adults, so you should be able to be frank with him about your concerns in how your parents will initially react. Maybe see what he thinks about initially breaking the news on the phone in advance since it will be him that has to face an attack in person. On one hand, he could be very bothered by what they will likely say and he may want to get it out of the way beforehand so he doesn’t react emotionally to their complaints. On the other, he may be insistent about being by your side and defending your decisions as a couple to your parents.

Post # 8
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know that my Future Father-In-Law looks down on me because I’m not working at the moment.  I’m in remission from cancer and had additional health problems last year, so it’s coming up to 12 months since I last worked.   Future Father-In-Law even had the nerve to tell Fiance that my health issues were just an ‘excuse’…  It’s not made me feel well disposed towards him, that’s for sure…and I couldn’t help thinking ‘ha’ when I heard Future Father-In-Law will be joining the ranks of the unemployed this month…

If your father does raise it, point out to him what you’ve said here: that many good people are unemployed right now, that your Fiance has his own money, and that you are old enough to know what you are doing…and that the decision not to get married in church is yours.

Good luck, and congratulations on your engagement! 

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