Post # 1
Hi Bees. This is my first time posting on weddingbee. I am getting married in June 2014, and I am very excited. My father passed away 7 years ago and I live with my mum. I am the only child and very close to my mother and have never lived apart from her. As I excited and eager to get married as I am I can’t help to still feel sad at the thought of not living under one roof with my mum. Also i cannot bear the though of her living all alone. it is not that I am too young to get married as I am 30 years old. I do not want to feel this way as I want to only feel excited about my upcoming wedding, and I do know that at my age it is about time to move out. When I get married I will not live far away, 15 minutes drive. I just need to know if others also feel or felt this way? And if you did, how did you handle it and what was it like when you got married and moved away from your parents?
Post # 3
I am also kind of nervous.
My SO and I are going to wait till marraige before we move in with each other.
Im 23 and still live with my parents and he still lives with his, due to college expenses. I think I’m more nervous about doing things on my own, Im scared when it comes to bills or anything similar to that, Im going to mess up. Im still on a lot of my parents things, Im still on their vehicle insurance plan, im still on their phone plan, they take care of my vehicle tag renewal, all I have to do is give them the money or whatever and they do the rest. Im nervous about not knowing what to do with the bills come due, etc.
Im also afraid that once I move out, Ill want to go back home.
Post # 4
I think most people are nervous when they leave home for the first time – I know I was nervous when I went away to college! I think it’s an important transition for all involved, though. Both you and your mom need to live independent lives that you learn to fill on your own!
Post # 5
@cadi12345: Yes, I was nervous going to college and then when I got my own place. It is scary but it’s also really exciting. It will work out just fine. We all figure it out in the end.
Post # 6
Thank you guys for the replies and it is good to know that i am not alone in the way i feel. I even told my fiance about feeling this way and he was supportive, saying I could visit her as often as I like and so on. @cmoest you will be fine with the bills and so on its not that bad and you will have your husband to help you :). Even though i have been living with my mum i have been employed for many years and paid bills, car, insurance etc so at least that part i know. i am more worried about the housekeeping part of things as well as i am not the best cook and even that is an understatement. @crayfish you are right about us living independent lives and I know it will be good for us for me to actually move out, it is just to get used to the idea and the change i guess
Post # 7
@cadi12345: I think under the circumstances this is completely normal. Since your mom will be close by, you will be able to see her as often as you like. Don’t be nervous! Be excited! Good luck to you
Post # 8
I couldn’t wait to get out. We moved in about 6 months after we got together, and haven’t gone back. 😀
Post # 9
I was nervous when I first moved out (alone at the age of 25) it was a huge change not living under the same roof as my family….and i worked with them so still saw them 5 days a week!
Under your circumstances, with the additional worry about leaving your Mum on her own I can only imagine.
As other have said, it will do both of you good. But maybe, while you get used to it you might like to set aside one night a week to have a family meal with your Mum, either she cooks, or you do. So that you have a regular night together. When I moved out I used to go home every thursday night (or to the local pub for dinner) with my family. It was great, we dont do it now. But we kept it up for a year.
Post # 10
- Wedding: February 2014 - Windstar on Naples bay
I’m a little nervous like you and in the same boat age wise. Though my parents are still together. I am extremely used to living life as a family unit (my parents and brother all live together along with another gentleman that at this point might as well be another brother. lol!) I am beyond ready to move out and know I can manage my own bills just fine, just don’t know if WE can manage OUR bills. Lol luckily I will also love close to home and plan to come home regularly. I worry that I might get sucked into his family since we’d be living in their guest house till we can afford to find a place. So I think its perfectly normal. Even though I’m ready I’m still nervous for it. 😛
Post # 11
@cadi12345: Nope you aren’t alone… I lived with my parents and brother until I got married (just short of 22) and then moved across country (12 hour drive) for my job and my husband’s job. To be honest it has been the best and worst experience of my life, nearly two years in I still miss my family so much but it has also being a great experience in that I have been able to learn a lot about myself and our relationship. Both our marriage and my own personality were tested by the move but we’ve grown so much individually and as a couple. I still speak to my parents at least twice a week and go visit whenever I can.
So I wouldn’t worry too much about being 15 mins away, things will change but I suspect they will change for the better.
Post # 12
I moved out of my parents house when I was 18, but my father passed away after that and I moved back to my hometown to be closer to my mom. I’m not the only child, but I am the only daughter and I know my mom talks to me about things she wouldn’t open up to my brothers about. It’s been six and a half years since my father passed away, but I still worry about my mom being lonely. She is a shy person, but I’ve encouraged her to get more involved at her church and with hobbies she enjoys. When she told me that she would be open to dating recently, I’ve been fully supportive because I just want her to be happy. You can still be supportive and there for your mom even though you don’t live with her. Invite her over once a week for dinner, encourage her to engage in social activities or hobbies. My mom has two dogs, teaches a class at her church, and takes exercise classes regularly, so she’s met people there as well. I’ve encouraged her to join a book club or take a cooking class, things like that. Call her regularly and see her regularly to make sure she has company and knows you love her and that you’re putting in effort to be in her life and include her in yours. The other thing that my mom loves is that we have a cabin on a lake and a boat, so she and Mr. S and I go down regularly. She loves the lake and that she has someone to go with. She doesn’t want to “tag along” with us too often when we take friends down to the lake with us, but I let her know she is welcome to and sometimes she comes too. If you work on having a healthy balance, she will appreciate the effort and maybe it will help her find her own social outlets that she enjoys, too!
Post # 13
Thanks you guys for all the replies, i feel so much better knowing others feel the same way and ill definitely try the things you are suggesting like regular visits, suppers, calling her alot etc. i even used to call her every day before she started working at a job where she cannot take calls lol i called her from work even though i see her every day.
Post # 14
I’m not married, but I remember when I moved away to college after high school, 3 hours away from home, I was so terrified I couldn’t eat for weeks. I was completely uprooted and placed in this strange place with all new people. Moving out can be hard at first, but you aren’t going to be that far away and you’ll be with your wonderful husband. Now I live 30 minutes from my parents with my boyfriend and we keep in touch with our parents via phonecalls (and facetiming is great if you have an iPhone) and try to visit home when we can to have dinner and spend time with them. You’ll be fine 🙂