Post # 1
I’m not nervous because of what the vows mean, but I’m nervous about actually reading my vows out loud in front of an entire room full of people.
Fiance and I are writing our own vows. We’re writing them separately, and we will not get to read or hear each other’s vows until the ceremony. I was a little weirded out by this at first – I mean, what if they are wildly different from each other? What if his is really short, and mine are long? What if his are funny and mine are sappy? But now I don’t really care about that – if they are different, it’s okay. We are different people. I don’t think anyone will care too much if our vows are really different.
So as I’m working on my vows today, I decided to read them out loud to myself, just to see what they sounded like. As I was reading, I started to get really, really nervous. It’s one thing to just stand there and say “Yes” and “I do” when the officiant asks you a question, or directly repeat some phrasing that he gives you to say. It’s another thing entirely to read your own hand-crafted vows that pour your heart out in front of everyone.
It’s kind of like reading a love letter aloud in front of a bunch of people.
Ladies, I’m not usually that bugged by public speaking, but I’m starting to feel pretty nervous about this. Anyone else reading their own vows at the wedding? How did/do you feel about it?
Post # 3
I felt the exact same way. After we both wrote our vows, I read mine and loved them… but I love them as something I would write to him in a letter he reads the day of. I’m not embarrassed, it just seemed too personal and nerve-wracking to read them in front of everyone.
So, we picked some short and kind of traditional vows and just changed the adjectives a bit to make them more appropriate for us. It definitely eased some of the anxiety that I anticipate with reading aloud in public.
Post # 4
I am like you, I KNOW I would get wayy too nervous reading something so incredibly heartfelt out in front of a crowd of people. I feel it’s way too personal for that.
Because of that, my Fiance and I are writing our own vows but we are not going to read them at the wedding, we will be reading them to each other in private right after the ceremony.
Post # 5
We wrote and said our own vows, and then did the traditional ones as well. It definitely made the day more nerve-wracking, but I am so glad I have the memory of what he said. I would be a nervous bride all over again just to hear him say them again! Be sure you write them down and have the officiant carry them for you. He can hand them to you when it’s time, so you won’t have to carry them down the aisle.
We chose to memorize ours, but that makes it all the more difficult!
Another option is to write them like a letter to each other, and have them delivered to each other just before going down the aisle, when you are in whatever room you’re getting ready in… so you can read them privately and the words will be on your mind as you walk down the aisle. Then you say the traditional vows, and can be more relaxed.
Post # 6
Thanks, ladies – these are all good ideas. I talked to my Fiance about it…still not quite sure what we’re going to do, but at least I have some other options in mind now. 🙂
Post # 7
At a wedding I went to this summer, the bride and groom wrote their own vows but said them softly enough that only they, the pastor, and maybe the BMs and Groomsmen could hear what was said. Everyone told them later they should’ve spoken louder, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t want anyone else to hear because it was special to them. It was an awkward 2 minutes of pure silence, but I thought it was sweet.
Post # 8
@galloway111: I was thinking about doing it like that, but I was afraid it would be really awkward for our guests. I think I’d rather read them aloud, or not at all. Otherwise, I think the guests would feel like they’re eavesdropping, a little.
Post # 9
@galloway111: Thank you for coming to my wedding! lol This happened by accident at my wedding and one of our guests said it was like watching a beautiful silent movie.