(Closed) Nervous…. countdown

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What do you Bees' think, did i screw it up???
    Yea, you were wrong : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Yes, it was an ultimatum : (15 votes)
    37 %
    No, it ok to state what you want from the beginning : (25 votes)
    61 %
    No, it was not an ultimatum : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I have a friend who was in a similar situation actually lol. 

    To be 100% honest, I think it does sound like an ultimatum. But ONLY because of specifics, such as “two years.” I see nothing wrong with being blunt and honest with eachother. Saying that you are looking to get married eventually and you don’t want to waste time (better words could be used I’m sure) on something that doesn’t have a chance of leading to marriage. I think, perhaps, if you had left it at that it wouldn’t seem like an “ultimatum” of sorts. You are GREAT for being honest with your man!! Only thing I see is that 2 year time limit thing. Guys hate that because it makes them feel pressured.

    That being said….I really think that you’re making a bigger issue out of it than it is πŸ™‚ Are you guys happy in your relationship? Do you love eachother? Help eachother out? If yes, then I definitely think you don’t have to worry all that much. Yes, the time limit does make things a little more “pressurized” than they would have been otherwise, but if you guys are otherwise happy, there is NO reason to let this eat you alive.

    Oh, yea, and my friend just got engaged. πŸ˜‰

    Post # 4
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t think you screwed it up, but I honestly doubt he remembers the exact date and that it’s been almost two years. I would expect something this year, but not necessarily this May. If you feel like your really want it to be by May, maybe bring it up again about how you had that talk two years ago, just to remind him that you’re still interested in marriage and make sure you’re on the same page.

    Post # 5
    2494 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I can’t vote, because it really depends on your relationship, communication level and the guy! My Fiance told me last September (of 10) that he would propose to me before our next anniversary. So we went to Niagara Falls, I bought sexy clothes, I was on pins and needles all weekend and…. nothing. He told me that he wanted to get our finances together first.

    What it really brought about was us talking more about where we stood and where we wanted to be.

    ANYWAYS, I think that it is only an ultimatium if you make it one. Do you keep reminding him the date is coming up? Bugging that you might walk away? Does he look or seem pressured?

    If you are worried, sit down and talk to him about the future and add in “I know we said that we were going to have a two year time line, and I do want to marry you, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to propose just because it is almost May. I created that timeline with you only because I don’t want to be in a ___ year relationship with no prospect of marriage.”

    Post # 6
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I agree with catalinaislandbabe

    The most important thing is how you two are doing in the relationship and do you think that if he weren’t to propose before your two year timeline, would you leave him.

    I wouldn’t worry about it so much either though. Just enjoy your relationship πŸ™‚

    Post # 7
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think its highly likely your SO doesn’t even remember your 2 year talk.  He probably just took from that conversation that you wanted a serious relationship that would end in marriage sooner than later – not that you needed a proposal by a certain date in 2012.  Unless you’ve been bringing up the 2 year deadline to him, in which case I would change my answer and say that it is an ultimatum of sorts.



    Post # 8
    8882 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    It sounds like an ultimatum, but you were upfront with him. You told him this 2 years ago and he is still with you and has talked about marriage. I see nothing wrong with what you did. If he had a problem with it, he could have spoken up a long time ago.

    Post # 9
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    As long as you haven’t been nagging him since then about “hey 2 years is coming up, are you going to propose?” then I think you’re fine.  It’s fine to express that you’re looking for something serious when you start a relationship– and much preferable to him not knowing that you’re looking towards marriage.

    Post # 11
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Hey no problem girl!! You guys sound like a great couple! I for one see wedding bells for you soon πŸ™‚ Tell us when he proposes!

    The topic ‘Nervous…. countdown’ is closed to new replies.

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