- 6 years ago
This may be a little long, but there are a lot of necessary details.
My FH and I started dating in May 2011. Right off the bat we went through a lot together. He took me to the hospital twice, he drove four hours to surprise me for my birthday, and his grandfather (who helped to raise him when his dad, a single parent died when he was nine) began to decline and eventually died in early September. In December I got sick with a very bad case of pneumonia, and was hospitalized for a month. I should have died, I had fevers of over 107 and sepsis.
After recovering from pneumonia, I realized that I was not getting back to my normal self. At first I chalked it up to stress, it was the last semester of my senior year college, but when I started working full time in may I knew something was wrong. My FH moved in together in June, and in September I had to resign from my job because I couldn’t deal with the symptoms I was experiencing. We found out recently that I have severe nervous system damage from either the high fever, or the powerful drugs I was given. I have nerve damange in almost every portion of my body, but I can function pretty well with pain medications and physical therapy. We don’t know if I will ever improve, stay the same, or get worse. The latter is likely.
Of course at age 23 this is a lot to take in. My FH is 27, works full time as a teacher, and we also help take care of his nearly 90 year old grandmother, so I know it weighs on him too. Still, he told me that he wanted to get engaged. (Yeah, he’s that amazing) He knew I had a family ring that I might want to use, so that sort of spoiled the surprise, although we’d been talking about it for ages.
Over the holidays, he wants to ask my parents permission. We want to get married in August so that I can be on his health insurance next year, since my health is so uncertain and I cannot work. My mom was married for the first time at 21 and generally disaproves of young marriages. I have no idea how my dad will react. The thing that complicates things is that, until I start receiving disability (which could take ages), they support me fully and would have to pay for most of the wedding.
My question is does anyone have advice on how to approach them? If they aren’t supportive my FH doesn’t want to get married until they are okay with it. I honestly don’t know how I am going to handle it if they are not. I need a little joy in my life right now and since I have to sit in bed practically all day, I’d love something to take my mind off the pain. Any advice would really be appreciated!
Thanks so much,