Post # 1
My extended family, while spread out all over the States, has always been pretty close. My cousins were like my long lost sisters growing up, but over the last few years, we’ve grown apart a little (college and more spreading out, globally, makes people lose touch). As it stands, one cousin is in a serious, long term relationship. She’s graduating college this spring, and I would be surprised if they don’t get engaged soon.
Either she or I will be the first grandchild in that family to get married. It’s looking like J and I will be picking a date this weekend (!) even though we’re not engaged yet, because the chapel where he wants to get married (on his college campus in our hometown) only has 3 weekends left available this coming fall/winter.
BUT we’re not engaged yet, and haven’t told anyone beyond our parents and my best friend (and you bees) that we’re planning to get married. We’ve only been dating 6 months, and I imagine at least those who don’t know our whole story will be surprised that it’s so ‘soon’ (although really it isn’t).
What I’m wondering is whether I should call my cousin and see if they’re talking about getting married, and whether she knows when she’s thinking. Since our family is so spread out, I hate to think that they’d have to chose between our weddings, and because she’s been dating this guy for so long (like, 5 years) I’d hate for her to feel like I was stealing any of her spotlight.
Do you think I should call her ahead of time? She’s 5 years younger than me, so I’ve always been a lot closer to her older sisters than to her, but haven’t told them yet, since we’re NOT engaged yet.
Post # 3
Just because you suspect they’ll be getting engaged doesn’t mean 1.) that they really are going to presently; 2.) that their wedding date will be that close to yours. I think that you should go ahead and pick your date since it seems like you are sort of constrained by the chapel’s availability. Since some people already know that you’re planning your wedding, I don’t think it should be too big a deal. If she does get engaged, I think it would be OK to sort of feel out their idea on dates. If they aren’t thinking close to you, no worries, don’t tell, whatever. If it seems like they are considering dates near yours, I don’t think it would be wrong to tell her that even though you are waiting to announce it or whatever, you already have X date picked out. I mean, you’ll have already booked a chapel by then, so it’s not like she can think you are “stealing” her limelight if you obviously booked it long in advance. And that way she will know which day NOT to pick so that everyone can attend both. Who knows, you may even already be engaged by then, no?
Post # 4
i would go ahead and set your date….but you may want to go ahead and make it official. that way you can put it out to everyone when you guys are getting married.
Post # 5
Making our engagement official, unfortunately, isn’t just my choice. 🙂
J and I are in a long distance relationship, as in, I live in China and he lives in America, and we just went 6 months without being able to see each other. We’re together now for 7 weeks (5 more left together! it’s going by so fast!) and while he’s all but said he’ll be proposing while I’m here in the States, I want to give him his 2 months to plan and do his thing. I have it on good authority that he has a ring, and I suspect he’s planning something, so for his sake, I wouldn’t want to step on his toes.
Post # 6
Yay! I talked to my mom this morning and it turns out she’s not ready to graduate (either I mis-calculated or she’s taking more than 4 years to get through school) and it doesn’t sound like they’re anywhere ready to get engaged yet. Yay! I mean, not yay for her, but yay I don’t have to worry about upsetting anyone! 🙂