Post # 1
My Fiance and I are meeting with the priest who will marry us in a week, and I’m getting nervous! We’re both baptized and confirmed Catholics, but Fiance is more of an agnostic and I’m not sure if he’ll bring that point up or not.
I’m on birth control for medical reasons (extreme heavy bleeding, to the point of passing out) so I’m not sure if I should discuss that with him either. He’s a very nice priest, but I just don’t feel like I should have to talk about that with him. Of course I’m open to having children if they come along earlier than planned, but because of those medical issues, I’ll go off of the pill only when I really want to have children.
Also, Fiance and I are pretty different from one another- I wouldn’t say polar opposites, personality-wise, but I’m worried about the priest thinking our compatability scores aren’t “high enough” on the FOCCUS test haha. We love our differences and have great communications, so there aren’t problems, but it makes me nervous.
We already set our wedding date, and we’re getting married in a chapel on our college campus, not a Catholic church. Our priest knows all of this already. We don’t live together, neither of us have children or previous marriages, no previous drug use or mental illness. I guess I’ve just noticed other posters saying that you can’t even set your date until after your first meeting with the priest, so I want to make sure that it isn’t like a priest would prevent you from getting married if you aren’t “up to snuff.” What have your experiences been meeting with your priest? Anyone have any problems?
Post # 3
I would recommend being honest with the Priest regardless. Consider the meetings, counseling for your future…
Post # 4
I don’t think you have anything to hide. he certainly doesn’t have all the answers and should not be judging you on the way you live your life. From what you’ve shared I don’t know there will be any issues! Relax and like PP said, consider it prep for the future – it does bring up good topics.
Post # 5
@Miss Taco Night: I wouldn’t worry about either.
Regarding the agnostic Fiance, that’s not going to be a deal breaker in terms of getting married. He is still Catholic, even if he is a fallen away Catholic. Worst case is that the priest might want some committment from you that you’ll raise the children Catholic and not agnostic, but that’s about it.
Regarding the birth control pill, the reason the Church does not support it is because it’s an abortifacient (that is it can and does cause abortions). However, you can see an explanation here where the birth control pill is not necessarily immoral if used for medical reasons: http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=15756 and http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=18736
So, again, I wouldn’t worry about it. I wouldn’t walk in and say “Hi. How are you? My name is Jane and I’m on the birth control pill.” but if it comes up, don’t be worried.
I hope that helps.
Post # 6
@CoffeeHound: Hahaha, you just shot down my opening line when meeting with our priest! I thought it would lighten the mood… no? Just kidding, I definitely won’t mention it if he doesn’t.
Post # 7
We set our date with our first meeting, and it was just a casual small talk, getting to know you meeting. It wasn’t until we gathered all the baptism papers and records etc…..did we do the official interviews and place a deposit.
By the way, they don’t care if someone has a mental illness like depression…….. When it asked that question the priest said it was asking something else…..something more severe…
Post # 8
I have to be honest… I’m all about lying to the priest so as to avoid conflict and make the wedding go as smoothly as possible. Our priest doesn’t even know that we’ve actually been living together for the past 3 years. There’s enough stress with the whole wedding thing, I don’t need additional stress from the priest. 🙂