(Closed) Nervous to tell parents about pregnancy.

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 18
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Mrs Hedgehog:  I feel like I could have written this post! We got married last December and Darling Husband just graduated from college, so we could have probably afforded to wait a little longer, but hey, it happens! We are definitely gonna wait at least until my first appointment January 22, hopefully that will make it easier! Good luck!

Post # 19
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper

@Mrs Hedgehog:  I would be nervous too! I’m certain it will go better than you expect!

About waiting, when I had my miscarriage, I happened to be AT my mom’s house. We are super, super close so when I walked in crying hysterically, her first comment was “Why didn’t you tell me the second you got a positive test?!” So I dunno if you have that relationship with your mom – but if you are super close, I’m sure she will be happy for you.

Post # 20
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you are so early, AND nervous about telling them, why don’t you wait until it is more of a sure thing, like after the 12 week point or after hearing the baby’s heartbeat? Everybody is different, but for me, fully understanding and realizing that I am pregnant has been a process that continues to unfold every day. I am 14 weeks and I still don’t fully ‘believe it’. We are still waiting to share the news with anybody because we are enjoying the time to fully accept that such a huge life change is happening to us, in private. Maybe if you give yourselves some more time to really realize that you are pregnant, it will start to feel natural to want to share the news. Again, everybody is different, and some people like to share a lot of things with a lot of people right away. But if you are feeling anxious about it, don’t push yourself. There’s no harm in waiting a little longer.

Post # 21
Member
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We were super scared about telling the inlaws. They had unrealistic goals for us to hit for a perfect life in their eyes. So we told them together on a holiday in public with my family too so they couldn’t react bad. 🙂 they are ok with it now. Even call just to see how me and the baby are. 

Goodluck!

Post # 22
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am 35, and I’m at 6w2d.  I am dreading telling my parents because I am not that close to them, so sharing some sort of “moment” will be uncomfortable for me.

Post # 23
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Mrs Hedgehog:  I think it’s normal to be nervous, it’s your first baby and you want nothing to ruin this moment. I think your parents may not be over the moon at first because of their personal experience. I feel the same about my mother, she met my father very young and got married young, and often wishes she would have taken more time to do her own thing. Now that Ilive with SO and we clearly plan on getting engaged,she feels like Iam too young even though I’m older than her when she met my father and got married,but to parents we are never old enough! If I were you I would wait to tell them until you reach the second trimester. I totally understand being excited and wanting to share the news but I think waiting a few months is best, it gives you more time to get used to the idea and maybe relax a bit more, and also you can tell them and show them the first sonogram which I’m sure will soften them up 🙂 

Post # 24
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Congrats! The thing about a baby, I think, is once it is happening for sure everyone is excited regardless. In theory it might seem like a good idea to tell you that you should wait x years or until whatever, but once you’re already pregnant and it hits them that they’re going to have a grandchild soon, I’m certain they will be thrilled. I would maybe just prepare yourself for the fact that their very INITIAL reaction might not be what you would hope for, remind yourself that by day’s end they’ll be thrilled, and bite the bullet and do it 🙂

Post # 25
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I am somewhat nervous as well. My mom always tells me “don’t rush children” but..here I am! I know when I was PG last time she went into full on planning mode.

Now, we have our wedding in 94 days…and she is in full on planning mode of that. I told her we were going to start trying and she was like “you better be able to fit in that dress!”

It’s a corset back and I ordered it a size up..so I should be fine at 14 weeks.

 

 

Post # 26
Member
9481 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mrs Hedgehog:  CONGRATULATIONS!!!  I’m so super excited for you.

I would wait to tell them at this point.  Enjoy the excitement you and your husband must be feeling.  Best of luck to you and best wishes for a very healthy pregnancy.

Post # 27
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I do understand! I actually had a meltdown a few months before getting pregnant when we were just beginning to discuss trying where I told my mom that I was afraid that when I got pregnant they wouldn’t be happy and it would be like me coming home from high school saying I’m having a baby, because I haven’t finished my degree yet and I’m worried she’ll be upset with us for not waiting till I’m done, but Darling Husband is 4 years older than me and wants to have his first child while he’s still in his 20s (he’ll be 29 when our DS is due). Luckily she was great and reassuring and said in no way would they feel that way, and then since we had that conversation it was less of a surprise when I did announce a few months later, and they were happy for us.

Post # 28
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i know how you feel completely! i’m pregnant with my second and i’m feeling the same way. it’s more that my DS is only 14 months so i’m nervous that people will think they are too close together but it just feels right for us to have our kids close. i think that whenever you decide to tell them they will be happy,maybe they might not act like it right away but it’s a baby. if moms that have kids in high school and pregnant can be supportive then there is no reason that yours can’t. your obviously old enough and you obviously feel like it’s the right thing to you. and i think that if you show them your excited and that your ready they will be fine.

Post # 29
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I understand your fears.  I just got married in June and I feel like my family was less than enthused.  In fact his family was just less than enthused and mine was at first down right against our marriage and attempted to break us up.  In the end everyone came to the wedding and played nice but I know that my mom and dad are still secretly hoping it doesn’t work out for us.  They all seemed satisfied that at least children weren’t on the agenda immediately after the wedding and while we aren’t trying, if my birth control were to fail, I am terrified to tell them.  I feel like they are pushing themselves already to just accept that I am actually married to this guy and it would be too much for them to handle if I threw a baby in there. I know deep down that if it were to happen, they wouldn’t even be able to pretend to be happy since they couldn’t hardly pretend for our union.   Yeah, it is technically their problem that they are assholes who can’t be happy for me but I would still be nervous.  I shouldn’t feel this way and I hate the a joyous time will one day be tainted by this anxiety.  

I have nothing to be afraid of.  I am married and I made it through high school and 5 years of college so far and I am not pregnant.  And it is far enough after my wedding where no one would have suspected that I was pregnant before and that is why we tied the knot.  If I were to become pregnant it wouldn’t be scandalous in the least.  I know I need to just stop worrying about what everyone else will think because it is my life and I am the only one living it.  The truth is if it happened tomorrow we would be ready and that is comforting.

Post # 30
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee

@mishagirls79:  +1

I think your friend may be right in that you are just scared in general. Even if they think you should have waited to have children, I doubt they won’t be excited!

Post # 31
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Mrs Hedgehog:  Honestly, I waited to tell anyone until 11 weeks, (meaning my two parents!) and then waited until past 12 weeks to tell any other family (sisters, aunts) and then waited until 14 weeks to tell the world.

My best advice is to just keep it to yourself until you are confident and ready to tell.  Keeping it a secret for the first trimester was challenging sometimes (I just told people I was under the weather) but it was a good time to gain confidence in my healthy pregnancy and a very intimate bonding experience between me and Darling Husband to be the only ones who knew while we gained confidence.  Even telling family at over 12 weeks I felt timid!

ETA:  Also, because my family rarely if ever reacts to things the way I would expect ANYONE (let alone family) to react, I am trying to learn to manage my expectations.  Darling Husband and I love what we are choosing to do and I try to remember that and look to him for support.

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