- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Okay, so, let me first set the stage…I’m having a really small vintage-styled wedding at a local winery. We only have about 50 guests coming, and we’re on a (fairly) tight budget I have most everything planned, so far, with the exception of the dress. I’ve been really chill about everything so far, except for the dress…it’s driving me crazy, and I know I’m being really neurotic about the whole dress-buying thing.
When announcing our engagement…we got one of two reactions from people: “You’re doing WHAT?! Are you CRAZY?!” and… “Of course you’re getting married. Duh.” My immediate family and parents are thrilled, they love my Fiance and already feel like he’s part of the family, but have not been interested at all in the wedding planning, which is really discouraging. I thought that my mother, at least, would be interested and involved.
I grew up living next door from my grandparents, and down the street from my best friend…and always imagined going dress-shopping with my mother, Grandmother, and best friend. I moved away a few years ago, and that friend has recently cut off communication due to some personal problems in her own life, and my Grandmother won’t be able to make it out for dress-buying. My mother still, seems completely disinterested. She’s very practical, and when I send her pictures of dresses, she basically asks “why can’t you just get a dress on ebay and call it done? That way you won’t have the disappointment of finding a dress you can’t afford.”
My feelings on the topic are, I am perfectly fine buying a used dress, but I would like to try on some dresses first to know what style is flattering to my body type, and know what I’m looking for. Then I found out about etsy’s alchemy feature, and I feel like that will be the perfect solution to staying in my budget, and having exactly the dress I want. I still feel like it’s important to try some on, though, so I know what I’m looking for…plus I need to allow plenty of time for the dress to be custom made.
Another factor in this whole thing is that my MoH recently found out she will be moving to Japan in September. She’s coming to visit in about two weeks, and that is the last time I will see her for almost two years…she won’t be here for the wedding. I do still want her involved with dress-shopping, though.
So here’s my situation…I think that when the wedding is a bit closer (we’re still about 11 months off at this point) my mother will get more excited, I think at this point she doesn’t understand why I’m making plans so far in advance, because both of her weddings have been non-traditional.
My mother is exhausted right now, from a long work-week, and homeschooling my five (yes, five…) younger siblings, all significantly younger than me. I get that she’s burned out, but I really want her involved in the dress shopping. So here are my options…
– I can go dress shopping with my MoH while she’s here, and not include my Mother.
– I can try and convince my disinterested Mother to come with, and hope that she can get into it once we get to the dress shop, also taking a chance that she will be a debbie downer the entire time.
– I can wait it out, and hope my Mother does get more interested and involved when the wedding is a bit closer and she’s had some time to relax, but then not involve my MoH.
Ahhh…I just need to stop obsessing about this all, and am having trouble with it. I am usually ms. practicality, and originally started off saying “it really doesn’t matter that much…I’m going to wear the dress for like 6 hours, and resell it afterward.” My feelings still remain, but I want a nice dress that I’ll feel good about. I’ve never been to a prom, or a banquet, I’ve never worn a formal in my life – and I feel like this is my chance.
I know it’s a very weird rambling situation – but any advice or encouragement would be great. My MoH is wonderful, I love her to death, but she’s not girly at all, nor is she in a relationship…so I don’t have a lot of empathetic ears to go to at the moment.