Post # 1
Okay ladies, my Fiance and I were having a hypothetical discussion about what we would do if we decided to never have sexual intercourse (penis entering vagina) again. Because I don’t enjoy penetration much (it’s on my other posts here, vaginismus, endo, etc) I asked him what he’d say if I never wanted to do ‘it’ again.
He responded with, “That’s cool. I love you for you, not just your vagina.”
Well. I think I’ll put a poll here. If you and your SO/FI/DH decided to never have sex again, (you could do other things of couuuuurse lol) would you? If your basis was because one or the other either physically couldn’t have sex, or couldn’t have sex that was pleasurable due to some kind of issue?
Would it affect the relationship, in your opinion?
Post # 3
Honestly, it would suck hardcore, but I love my Fiance and I know he’d do the same for me. It’s not about the sex, but it does help to have a healthy sex life. It definitely wouldn’t be the end of my world though.
Post # 4
I have endo too and as a result sometimes it causes intensely painful sex. My Darling Husband has said multiple times he would still love me and be with me til the day I die if my vagina just fell off completely. To us sex is just a small part of our marriage, and as much as we enjoy it now, if it ever became impossible that would not mean the end of us. There are so many ways to stay connected and feel intimate with one another without actual penetration so I think if it ever happened we would be just fine.
Post # 5
As long as we could use toys and touch each other and such, I think we would be okay. I agree with PP that it would totally suck hardcore, but if all we’re avoiding is penetration I think we could handle it. If there was like no touching ever then yea I couldn’t make it lol
Post # 6
I think making the choice to never have sex again would end up causing serious problems down the road.
I think not being able to have sex due to a physical impairment would be so much easier to handle.
I love my almost husband more than anything, and I’d try to make it work with all my might no matter what… but can defintely see some problems with making the choice to abstain.
Post # 7
I tried this hypothetical with my Fiance and I couldn’t come up with one solid reason why we could never have sex again. He said if I became sick he would understand but I wouldn’t be sick forever. He refuses to answer based on that fact lol. It would cause issues I’m sure reardless of which side it happened to but there are other things besides sex that we can do to be intimate.
Post # 8
For Fiance for a physical reason, yes.
For an emotional reason, we’d try counseling first.
For a random just cause? That doesn’t make sense to me.
Post # 9
I could make it work, but I don’t think he’d ever be happy. He LOVES sex (well…duh) and seems to mentally need to do it. Most of the time I could take it or leave it (oh thanks, birth control pill).
Post # 10
darn… I voted before I actually read your post… I voted “hell no” but I was thinking it would be “just because”… if it was a medical issue or it was painful/unenjoyable for one of us, and we could do other things then by all means I would and could. I love my husband and he loves me, it would suck… but it wouldn’t be a deal breaker.
Post # 11
I guess as long as there are toys included, manual stimulation, oral options and even anal then its not the end of the world- but thats coming from me the female. If I don’t have the medical condition, then technically I could still have vaginal penetration without his penis with the use of a dildo or whatever crazy penis things they have out today.
Now if it was me with the medical issue, I couldn’t speak for a male because I don’t know what its like to have a penis or what it needs.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I would be able to abstain, but it would definitely affect our relationship. But like pp have said, there are other ways other than straight up intercourse to enjoy each other.
Post # 13
I wouldnt miss it. I can live without it for sure. After I had a baby my sex drive vanished and never returned.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t be happy about it and it would be really difficult, but if it were because of a physical problem, I would try my best to deal with it. I know I would be irritable all the time because of it.
Post # 15
@Eva Peron: “whatever crazy penis things they have out today” <– this made me laugh out loud very literally 🙂
I don’t really know. I don’t think we would ever just “decide” to not have penetration ever again just because we were meh about it. If there was a medical issue, then certainly we’d work around it, though. For both of us, sex is important, but it’s not essential.
I do know a couple, however, where he was in a car accident very early on in their relationship. He suffers from various disabilities now, and they are unable to have sex. I’m not sure if they do other things, or not, but anyway, they are very happily married now and have been for several years. They are 20 somethings too, so it’s certainly shown me that marriage and love can be made of more than just sex.
Post # 16
It depends on the circumstances, but generally NO!