(Closed) Never Give In, or Why I Hate My Sister – rant

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

wow — I’m sorry.

Your day is about YOU and it’ll be great.  Just keep that in mind.  Don’t feel obligated to give in to your sister.

Post # 4
326 posts
Helper bee

is your niece still going to be involved in the wedding? because it’s really not her fault

Post # 5
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Make the day happiest for you! Sorry to say, anyone that schedules a child’s sleepover the day before a wedding that their child is in…and refuses to reschedule it…come one they are kids! They can sleepover any weekend! OMG!!! Seriously?!?!?! She obviously has no regard for anyone else…deep breath, make it the happiest you can, deal with that storm later if you wish to at all! ๐Ÿ™‚

Good Luck and Congrats on your wedding!!!

Post # 6
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Okay, first. Let’s look at another positive on top of you taking control of your happiness: You’re one kick ass writer. It was a long post, but every bit of it was engaging, captivating and made me want to keep reading. (So, blast that assistant job and figure out a way to get into journalism.) Good job sticking to your guns. Yes, it’s frustrating that your mom has sided with her, but it’s not worth the drama for you that day. Your sister is obviously unhappy in her own life, otherwise she wouldn’t be torturing everyone else around her. Maybe it will take her missing your wedding to realize that you’ve really had enough.

Post # 7
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Your sister needs to recognize the difference between a WEDDING and a playdate.  For Pete’s sake-  skipping the rehearsal is good enough reason to have the girl out of the ceremony.  It sounds as though sis makes up reasons to push people’s buttons.  You guys all need to get out of the habit of trying to please her.  Make sure you let your niece know that everything is okay betwween the two of you.  Best of everything this weekend.

Post # 8
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Your family sounds completely nuts!

I find that people like that are so used to throwing tantrums and getting their way that it totally floors them when someone doesn’t give in. Sometimes they actually change their behavior – not because they know they’re wrong, but because being a brat is no longer getting them the results they want. Good for you for standing up to them!

Post # 9
1456 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Wow you go! GOOD for you for putting your foot down with your family! I hope your day is magnificent and stress free because of it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
10849 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Holy crap. First of all, good for you for standing up for yourself. Your sister sounds like an obnoxious b!tch. I mean, we all have bad days where we want the world to pay attention to what we think and want only, but most of us don’t act on it, nevermind scream at the top of our lungs about it and live our day to day lives that way. What. The. Heck. Her behaviour and attitude is unbelievably inappropriate. I can’t get over the fact that she’s a doctor. If I had someone so poisonous in my life I would certainly want to be rid of them too. I can’t see how she would think it would be appropriate in any way for her daughter to skip out on all the wedding events, not be able to make her hair appointment, bring a friend, and then just leave her daughter and said friend with you for you to deal with. What the heck is she doing that’s so important?! Ugh! I’m angry and frustrated for you!!!!!! Not all siblings are bound to be friends, and it doesn’t sound like your sister is putting out one iota of effort to make your relationship work.

I have to agree with the other poster, you are an AMAZING writer and you should really try to take that up as your next job!! You are so clear and well spoken, your writing style is terrific!

Good luck with your wedding. I hope you can get through this rough patch and enjoy next couple days without much drama. Focus on yourself and Fiance, breathe deeply. ((HUGS))

Post # 11
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m also not inviting my sister to my wedding. You are not alone. Do what’s right for you.

Post # 12
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I say you’re doing the right thing and kudos to you for standing up for yourself! I can’t believe how inconsiderate your sister is to have your niece’s friend tag along on your wedding day!!  Hopefully her exclusion from the wedding will allow her time to think long and hard as to why she’s sitting at home and missing out on her little sister’s wedding day!   

Post # 13
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

I completely understand and empathize!!  My younger brother acts the SAME EXACT WAY and is 46 years old.  Screamed at me 1/2 hr before my mother’s wedding-Why?-My daughter took it upon herself to help me by arranging some photos as I was still cutting out for a display board at the funeral, and she didn’t know we were sharing the space with him.  That’s not even half of his behavior, nor his kids!!!  Never apologized, never does. Said something to my other brothers and aunts when he came to my daughter’s wedding that “He couldn’t wait to leave.”  WTH?  SORRrrry I invited him.  I live 3,000 miles away from him, and pray for him and his family every day. It sure is hard to understand them isn’t it?  I’d like a clue.  Maybe I should look in a DSMR-IV.  Don’t let her ruin your day under any circumstances!!!  Congratulations! Have a wonderful wedding.  Forget about her, and the rest of your family can choose to be upset with you or not.  It is their decision, but in hindsite, I wouldn’t have invited my brother to come to my daughter’s wedding to insult me to my other family members behind my back!!!  Run and don’t look back!!!  That’s abuse, plain and simple. Best Wishes for a wonderful wedding day!!!  ๐Ÿ™‚  Start getting paid to write!!!!!

Post # 14
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I will NEVER understand how or why people make our wedding days about them.  My wedding day was overshadowed by selfish family who bullied me into inviting them to the wedding then were complete a**holes the entire night.  I bent over backwards (drined my 401k) to invite these 9 people and they tried so hard to ruin our day. 

I think you are doing the absolute right thing by disinviting.  It might hurt her feelings now but it might just make your night wonderful! 

Post # 15
20 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

i know it might be too late but I have some similar problems with my family, and instead of getting in screaming matches I find writing a letter helps, specially for your mother. I find this helps get what you need to say accross, without someone yelling and throwing a tantrum on the other end. They can read it and absorb the contents and maybe it will help them understand when they are not all heated up and defensive while you are standing there. You can let them know how hurt you are by the situation (and that weddings are NOT playdates).

I had to do this with my brother when we hadn’t spoken in 5 years. I got out what I needed to say, and it helped him understand where I was coming from and it wasn’t accusitory. I used a lot of terms like “when this happened I felt hurt” and kind of open, not a lot of “well you did this” you know what I mean? maybe it will help maybe it won’t, but at least you can sit and think about what you need to say and you can know you did your best to try and resolve the issue. My brother and I are best friends now, it took a long time but we worked at it.

I hope you have a wonderful day no matter what ๐Ÿ™‚ and dont’ let this bring you down.

Post # 16
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am so sorry you have to live with that. I am very proud of you for standing your ground though and think you made the right decision in telling your sister and her husband and daughter that they cannot come. I hope your wedding day is everything you wish for and full of nothing but happiness.

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