(Closed) Never Give In, or Why I Hate My Sister – rant

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

On your wedding day, you GET to be as selfish as you want (you’re not being selfish, though!). You do what makes you and your Fiance happy on your wedding day, even if it means stepping on big sis’s toes and ruffling her feathers. She needs to get over herself and honestly, it’s probably better she not even be there if she’s going to pull crap like this…pft, can’t re-schedule a sleepover? That’s just fishing for ways to start trouble. She is an instigator, so just leave her to her own devices and don’t feel an ounce of guilt over it.

Post # 18
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Good job for standing up for yourself.  HUGS

Post # 19
Member
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

You ARE a great writer! You should write a book about how wicked your sister is – especially around the wedding. You could sell a ton of copies.

PS: you’re totally right for not putting up with her BS any longer. You lasted far longer than I would have!!!

Post # 20
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My sister did something similar to me at my wedding, and it was very painful. I just kept repeating a mantra in my head, “I already made my final decision, and you are just making a lot of noise.” It helped.

Post # 21
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

Your sister sounds like my sister.  It’s probably for the best that you uninvited her to the wedding.  It will take soooo much stress off you.  My sister nearly ruined my other sister’s wedding by going around to the tables and telling everyone how awful she was treated the whole day (because everyone was focused on the bride and not her).  That was two years ago and we haven’t had much contact with her since.  She doesn’t even know I’m engaged and I’m not inviting her to the wedding.  Fortunately, my mother respects my wishes and didn’t tell my sister (my sister isn’t talking to her because of a perceived wrong so it’s not that big of a secret to keep).

Post # 22
Member
1712 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Oh my goodness, I couldnt imagine going through all this, I think you should focus on doing everything possible to stay focus and enjoy the special occasion.

Make the decisions you think its best, and let them deal with it. Like you said its your day and your even paying for it yourself. You have the final say. Good for you keep sticking up for yourself. 

Post # 23
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m so sorry you are dealing with this so close to your wedding! You don’t deserve it and are definitely not selfish for wanting to have a stress free wedding day. You did the right thing and you need to put yourself first because your sister is clearly taking advantage of you and she just seems so toxic. You want to be surrounded by people who will make you feel great, not people to bring you down, so I really believe you made the right decision.

And I totally agree with everyone else, especially Melissabegins, write a book because you are a great writer!

Post # 24
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee

You are my bridal hero.  Good for you for not putting up with your sister’s BS. 

I’m dealing with my own sister issues – and it makes me understand why your mom is siding with your sister.  My mom does the same thing – because she doesn’t want to incur the wrath from my sister – and, as a mom, really wants her kids to get along and doesn’t like the appearance of us not.  She seemed surprised when I told her we’ve NEVER gotten along – like it was some big news flash.

That said – I’m in the ping-pong of ‘making everyone happy’ and while I do think there is balance to be achieved, your efforts have certainly fallen flat.  But, the thing is – you tried – and that’s what you should be proud of.  You didn’t have to – you could have just put your sister in the box that she deserves – but you gave her an opportunity to prove history wrong – and, unfortunately, she could not.

I’m so sorry for all the drama and hope that you have a wonderful wedding this weekend!

Post # 25
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

You had me convinced up until this point:

“I’m paying for my wedding and rehearsal dinner and sunday brunch and half my bridesmaid’s dresses and my mom’s hairstyling and bridesmaids manicure and have spent well over $300 for bridesmaid and parent gifts, and that’s not including the $300 I’m planning on spending on my mom’s gift.  Did I mention I had to quit my assistant job in order to get married because I couldn’t get the time off, and that my entire savings went to pay for the wedding?”

You need to own that this paragraph has nothing to do with your sister.  Neither she or anybody else made you do any of these things.  You MADE THE CHOICE to have a wedding this expensive.  And how much time off do you need to get married?  Are you having a destination wedding?  A long honeymoon?  Those things are just so much fluff in the face of a lifetime together.  Frankly, in this economy, quitting your job and using your entire savings just for a one day event makes very little financial sense.  I hope you are marrying someone with money and a little more financial acumen.  Don’t buy into the hype that the wedding industry is peddling.  Beautiful happy memories will not pay the bills.

Post # 26
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I don’t know if this will help at all – but I belong to a knitting website, and a while back there was a thread about wedding readings (random, I know) that I bookmarked for my own use… perhaps if it’s all laid out, you can pick a reading 🙂

 

http://www.ravelry.com/discuss/remnants/1081384/1-25#2

Post # 27
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would have done the same thing if I had been in your shoes.

Hope you are having a wonderful wedding day!

Post # 28
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee

Happy Wedding Day Ultimate!!  I hope your sister never showed up and that you are enjoying the day that you have EARNED!

Post # 29
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

I hope you had a wonderful and stress free wedding day.

 

I should also add that you’re an amazing writer.  Very engaging.

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