Post # 31
I think thank you cards are overrated for many things. I don’t need a thank you card from a two year old’s birthday party, as many of my friends do. I toss all thank you cards; many without reading. i have only been to a few weddings and we did receive thank you cards, but it wouldn’t be a big deal to not have gotten one. I know they liked the gifts we had gotten because it was on their registry. I don’t hold a grudge for the rest of the person’s life if we didn’t get a hand written thank you in the mail From them.
Post # 32
No thank-you note = no manners. Just rude.
Post # 33
dances123: dojx: No one got thank you cards, so mine was not lost
Sukii: Thank you cards after weddings would be the cultural norm here (or so I thought!!). But I have nothing against a phone call either. That to me is still a personal/thoughtful way to acknowledge a gift.
MiniMeow: In my family I was brought up to say thank you for absolutely everything so even a text would be fine with me as well.
Peronally I think not giving cards (or acknowledging the gift your guest brought in any way) comes across as greedy, rude and unappreciative of the gift that I am actually under no obligation to give the couple on their wedding. If you’re throwing a dinner party and someone brings you over a nice bottle of wine, it would be insulting to greet that guest, take the bottle out of their hands and walk off without saying thanks yet people think that is acceptible with wedding presents!? I just don’t get it 🙁
Post # 34
I don’t get thank you cards.
why would I thank people for coming to my wedding or whatever occasion. It was their choice to be there after being invited.
Post # 35
allthingsaqua: I disagree. I do think that graciousness should be in BOTH directions – guests should say thank you for inviting them and the couple should thank guests for coming. But the worse breach of etiquette is when the bride and groom fail to send out thank yous. I also disagree that a text or verbal thank you is enough, though if you do not even get either of those, that is pretty bad. I am really good about sending thank yous but not everyone is, most people take months. Taking a long time is not as big a deal as never sending one. Just my opinion, having now been on both sides.
Post # 36
allthingsaqua: okay…even if you go by this terrible attitude, you don’t send thank you cards to people for attending. You send them to thank people for giving you a gift. So you don’t “get” thanking someone for spending their hard earned money on you?
Post # 37
so why then is it not a big deal for thank you cards for birthdays christmas and any other event. they go in the bin. People have better things to do than spend their life writing thankyou
Post # 38
I’d be annoyed for sure. Don’t give anything for the baby shower, or if you do make it a $10.00 gift card to Target. No gratitude for a generous gift, no more generous gifts.
I’d cut them a bit of slack if you had given then a small sum of money like $25.00, but it sounds like it was much more.
Post # 39
DrCrazyCat: Thank you cards aren’t really a big deal to me. However, I agree that it is rude for the couple to not thank you through sending a card, over the phone, or in person.
Post # 40
My Mother-In-Law raised 3 children. Two of those raised their children (4) to write thank you notes and one did not (2). Not surprisingly, in the family that doesn’t write thank yous, or even acknowledge a shipped gift has arrived by e-mail, the parents have a narcissistic sense of entitlement. The world owes them.
Since I read into that SIL’s mind early on, I made sure the baby gifts were from Tiffany’s and later the gifts came from F.A.O. Schwartz (they lived in NYC). I knew if I only sent the best, there would be less chance of complaints. Yeah, we got complaints, not thanks. One time, they already had one of the FAO gifts, so she complained about having to return it.
Needless to say, we stopped sending those kids gifts a long time ago. People soon learn who appreciates the effort and expense you take to give/send a gift, and when they don’t, the gravy train stops. I’m sure this was a learning experience, for everyone who gave a gift, at the wedding you attended.
Post # 41
allthingsaqua: it is all a big deal. It’s basic manners and a bare minimum requirement of being a polite and gracious person.
Post # 42
I would be annoyed too. If you can’t be bothered to send a thank-you note, don’t register for gifts. We (ok, I) did thank-you notes for our engagement party, for each shower, AND the wedding – I had my wedding ones done within a month. Yes it took some time to do, but I was happy to spend the time after everyone had spent their time and their money on us. It was not a big deal, and I knew a lot of them would appreciate it.
Post # 43
allthingsaqua: um, I write a thank you any time someone gives me something. I just had a birthday and sent out thank you cards so it’s quite fresh. It’s just the polite thing to do and if you get a Christmas gift and a birthday gift that’s twice in a year you need to spend 15 minutes writing cards. Hardly wasting your life away… But I guess some people don’t mind about being rude. You’d only get one gift in a lifetime from me, though, if you didn’t thank me for it.
Post # 44
Am not saying I would thank someone. But I’d rather do it in person or by phone call. So I don’t get the whole card thing.
Post # 45
allthingsaqua: That’s great, but I was not about to call 100+ people to thank them over the phone for their wedding gifts.
DrCrazyCat: I agree with you. Unfortunately, I’ve been to several weddings over the past few years where a thank-you was never received, by note or otherwise. It sucks and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect my overall feelings toward those couples. But it is what it is.