Post # 1
I had an arguement with Fi last night over something silly, but we we’re both tired and grumpy. He went to bed in a sulk and I went in a bit later when he was asleep. It could have easily have turned into a big ruckus, but know that we’ve cooled down and had time to think about it we cansee how stupid it was. I think if we argued it out last night we would have both got defensive and it would have got out of control.
Why do they say you should never go to sleep on an arguement?!
Post # 3
I heard that you should never go to sleep mad. Just because someone argues doesn’t mean that you are mad or angry. I guess people say that because it gets worse if you let it carry on.
Post # 4
hmm weve argued and gone to bed and said we will sort it out in the morning and we are too stressed the night before to deal with it. As long as you dont let the arguement go unresolved then I think its ok. But depends who you are I guess! could be just a figure of speech as in, dont let it all build up. maybe?
Post # 5
I always thought that you weren’t supposed to go to bed angry just in case your SO died in their sleep… then you would regret it forever. Yeah, I’m sure it wasn’t intended that way, but I think about things like that because they freak me out!
Seriously though, we’ve gone to bed after little spouts too. It’s not a huge deal and you’re right, sometimes it’s good to take some time to cool off!
Post # 6
Darling Husband prefers to let the night go by, cool down and resolve the day after… I don’t, cause I can’t sleep very well when we argue… but he is just unable to discuss normally when he’s angry, so I have to accept that it has to wait until after.
Good thing we don’t argue often (it happened about once a year, honestly)!
Post # 7
I’m not sure why ‘they’ say it. But I personally hate to do it. And that’s just because I end up having a horrible nights sleep. I toss and turn and have the wildest dreams. The one thing I won’t ever ever ever allow, is for either one of us leave in the middle of a fight. Like if he says he wants to leave to cool down, I won’t let him go. I’m deathly afraid of something horrible happening and the last thing we did together was argue.
Post # 8
Darling Husband and I pretty much think that rule is BS. LOL We both have pretty heated tempers and sometimes have a very hard time letting things drop. Every single time we have argued and then gone to bed (still mad/upset), we’ve waken up in the morning completely fine and able to discuss the issue calmly and then move on. It’s like magic. lol I will say though, right now beings Darling Husband and I are living about 1100 miles apart, we never ever ever get off the phone while still angry/arguing. It’s the exception to our rule. However hard it is to argue in person, knowing that you are arguing with someone you still can’t see for several more months makes it soooo hard. So, while we’re apart, we definitely work things out before bed.
Post # 9
agree with the consensus, @bella – tho morbid, i totally thought the same thing about why u shouldnt go to bed angry…
i definitely don’t feel right after any fight…. cuz it always makes me think twice about how mean words should never be the last thing for the Fiance to hear…anyway,
i think there are limits to every “saying”… sometimes you just need to sleep on it and make it better later!
Post # 10
I think they say that because that if you resolve the issue when it comes up it is less likely to get buried, linger, and get drudged up again. You know?
I’ve had times where issues/feeling/resentments become week long problems. If we (the ex and I) had dealt with them earlier we could have saved a lot of time and heartache.
I’m with Jennifer that fighting really screws up my sleep. I hate staying up to work through something but in the end it works out better most of the time.
Post # 11
Oh my goodness, I learned long ago that sleeping on an argument is almost a necessity in a relationship! Especially for us. We’ve fought it out all night enough times to where we both know it is NOT the way for us to resolve things. If we are mad with each other, no matter how small, we respect each other, give space, sleep on it and apologize once we wake up the next morning. I feel like it’s almost physically impossible to do it any other way!
Post # 12
I agree. Sometimes it’s good to just let things be – especially when you’re tired and not so rational. good point!
Post # 13
Oh i think it depends. It’s one thing to go to bed seething (who can sleep?! I’d rather get 3 hours and settle it), another thing to be like “ugh let’s sleep on this”.