(Closed) Never thought I’d be in this situation!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I would talk to your FH about asking his parents/stepmom for some money to help absorb those 30 people. I totally understand the situation and am hoping to avoid having to ask for much help with our wedding as well, but in all truth if you have a max list of 80 and then his stepmom comes up with 30 must-invites, that’s a big increase. It sounds like you’d be inviting them for her sake and not your own, in which case it is completely appropriate to ask for a bit of help in absorbng the cost of those people.

Post # 4
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry about the double post!

Post # 5
Member
690 posts
Busy bee

I’m in a similar situation.  Fiance and I wanted a smallish wedding (75 ppl).  He assured me that none of his German family would be able to come to Canada for the wedding, so we decided to hold a second reception in Germany.  We book my dream venue which holds up to 105 people.  My mom starts telling all of her friends about the wedding, and how they will be invited.  Next thing you know, my Fiance keeps asking about sending invitations to all his German relatives for Canada – b/c they’ll definitely just say no of course (uh huh).  The wedding is 8 months away, and already about 10 of them are planning on coming from Germany.  If EVERYONE says yes, we’ll have about 20 more people then our room can hold.  Of course its unlikely that everyone will come, but its worrying me that less than 20 will RSVP no.  This is the one aspect of my wedding that has been stressing me!

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I guess he has a small family by my standards… I was just at a family wedding which had over 50 people from my side of the family and that was just a small portion of the bride’s family… and not even half of my relatives…  So hope you have fun figuring it all out!  I’m sure that you will be glad they came in the long run!

Post # 9
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

When we first started receiving our replies I was freaking out because we had about 100 ‘yes’ replies, and only 6 ‘no’ replies….with about 85 left to reply.  What we didn’t take into consideration was that most of the ‘no’ replies will come closest to the date you’ve asked for the replies to be returned.  Most people will be trying to see if they can get time off work, possibly baby sitters, hotels, etc. etc. etc., and sometimes that takes until the last minute.  Luckily our venue help up to 250 ppl, but we were only budgeting for 150.  We ended up having 145 ppl in the end…it was perfect! 

All the best with everything! I promise it will all work out 🙂

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