Post # 1
I’ll be taking my husband’s last name but do not want to fully lose my last name or my middle name and do not want to bother hyphenating. So I want to take my maiden name as a second middle name. And for the most part I will go by FirstName NewLastName to make life easier.
Who has sucessfully done the “FirstName MiddleName MaidenName NewLastName” change and what has your experience been? Anyone in Maryland in particular have problems? I am pretty set on this but just wonder if it is going to be some sort of logistical nightmare.
Honestly, I’m okay with the hassle of filling out forms, having to explain, etc. My legal maiden last name is actually hyphenated (as is traditional for South American last names) but I will drop my mother’s maiden name and no longer deal with any hyphens. And when we have kids they will all take the husband’s last name, no hyphenating there either.
This is the best compromise I can think of. I just hope I can convince the Social Security Administration to let me have 2 middle names (not 2 last names). I’ll change it in court if I have to!
Post # 3
I’m interested to hear people’s experiences with this as well, because I’m hoping to do the same thing eventually. I want to keep my middle name, make my maiden name a 2nd middle name, and take my SO’s last name…
Post # 4
Honestly, I can’t imagine why you would. No one will ever call you by your maiden name, and the only time you’ll use it if it isn’t hypenated will be to fill out paperwork. So you’ll have that much more to write when you fill out legal forms, applications etc. but no one will ever use it socially. At least if you hyphenate it that will be your last name and it will be written on nametags, your desk or whatnot… and people will use it sometimes.
You can have as many names as you want, but I think it is a different course of action to change first/middle names than last names.
Post # 5
I believe it depends on the laws of the state you get married in. I plan on doing the same thing. I realize it won’t be used often but I’m not willing to completely toss my maiden name.
I’ve heard mixed messages about how it works at the SSA, it seems to depend on the person who helps you change your SS card.
Post # 6
@Moja Milosc: I kind of feel like it’s my compromise. My SO really wants me to take his name, not hyphenate it. But I still want to feel like my maiden name is part of me. It doesn’t really matter to me if other people will ever see it. Knowing it’s on my passport, etc., will be good enough.
Post # 7
I chose the route of Firstname Middlename Madienname Newlastname this summer and didn’t really have any problems. The person at the DMV looked at me a little funny like “are you sure you want that many names?” but she seemed fine with it when I assured her that I was certain. I didn’t have any problems at the SSA office either, except that having all four names was 2 letters too many for the max and wouldn’t all fit. I ended up going with my middle name having just the first inital and they were okay with that. I had been worried that the SSA would be the biggest problem, but the lady was helpful and said it didn’t matter as much what the SS card said as long as the ID was right (and the SS card matched it somehow). I had already gotten my ID and this seemed to help the process. I bet you will have no problems. 🙂
Post # 8
So an update for Maryland brides especially: You must go to the Social Security Office first and have your name changed there. Then you must wait until you have your new SS card with you and go to the MVA with that to get a new drivers license.
I did not have any issue with my local Social Security Administration office when I went to change my name as stated above (2 middle names, dropping the 2nd name in my hyphenated maiden name). The lady was just glad I had all the correct paperwork and then asked to make sure I wanted two middle names and the new single last name.
I did have a problem today when I tried to take the receipt the SS office gave me to the MVA to get my new MD drivers license (I’m a new resident too). They said I had to have the physical new card (with the new married name) and something about it also updating in their system. Hope this helps someone!
Post # 9
I chose to drop my middle name so my maiden name is now my middle name.
But, I know a girl that had 4 names before she got married and simply added her last name…so 5 names now. She hasn’t had any problems.
Post # 10
Before getting married, I had 4 names already: First name, middle name, 2nd middle name (mothers maiden) and my last name. I felt the same as you did – I didn’t want to lose my maiden name, but I did want to take my husband’s last name (though he didn’t care one way or the other). I decided to : Keep my first name, middle name, maiden name, and new last name , dropping my mother’s maiden name. My sister, who works for the govt (Canada) told me that I can’t really officially do that, but I just like knowing it’s still a part of me. My facebook name ( Lol) now says First Name, Maiden Name, New Last name (no hyphen). I like seeing it every day 🙂
Post # 11
@bebepituca: Thanks, that’s good to know!
Post # 12
I already have four names. My parents gave me two middle names to begin with and I honestly love having the two. I see no reason why they wouldn’t allow this, but I am not sure how things work in the States.
Post # 13
I went the four name route, except kept my maiden for work. No issues with Social security. At DMV, they refused to put my maiden name on it without a hyphen, so I went without for a while. Had enough problems I went back to the DMV, got the nicest woman ever, and she let me get the correct one. On my passport, despite clear instructions, they deleted my maiden name, but corrected it when I sent it back. The issues I currently have:
1. I don’t feel secure in my name. When someone asks, it takes me a second.
2. I feel a little stupid sometimes explaining my name- people don’t seem to get it.
3. Many people don’t honor my name as I want. For my birthday, I got 12 cards in the mail, and only 2 were addressed to my correct name.
Post # 14
Really helpful! I live in MD and have the name same plan. Thanks for posting.