Post # 1
Hello all! I finally created an account after stalking WB for a very long time. 🙂 After a very looonnngg year of experiencing the highest of high and lowest of low all at the same time, the love of my life and I became engaged on May 26, 2012! Although it was something that I’ve wanted for a long time and could not be more ready to be married, I dont think there’s anything I loathe more than wedding planning! I’ve had/am having so many life changes at the same time, I can’t help but think that this might have something to do with my lack of excitement.
Out of nowhere, my dad had a massive stroke in May 2011. With him being single, everything fell on me b/c I’m an only child. After 8 extremely difficult months of visiting him in the hospital just about everyday and trying to help with anything that could assist in his recovery, he died in January. He and I were always really close so the entire thing killed me. I think the shock of it all is just now starting to wear off so planning a wedding knowing the man I always compared people to won’t be there makes me wish I could just meet my fiance at the courthouse over at lunch and call it a day.
In addition, I’m just about 2 weeks shy of turning 30. That’s just depressing! 🙂
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story in hopes of receiving any advice that could possibly help me get a little more into the swing of things!
Post # 3
Welcome to WeddingBee!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. That is difficult under any circumstances, and of course doubly so as you are preparing for marriage. Of course you’re finding wedding planning difficult when you’re still grieving.
I think that’s actually a really good reason – and explanation to offer people – for keeping things on the simple side. Is a courthouse wedding not an option because of family pressure, or because your Fiance doesn’t want it, etc? Even if you do end up having something bigger than that, it’s definitely okay to say to people, “I’m not comfortable having 200 guests/a whole bunch of bridesmaids/a big fireworks display/whatever at this wedding while I’m still mourning my father. It just doesn’t feel appropriate.”
At the same time, it’s important to remember that both joy and sorrow are inextricably part of life, and sometimes in the middle of great grief, an occasion like a wedding can be a real blessing and a reminder that in spite of the loss you’ve all suffered, your family is renewing itself. That’s something to celebrate.
Best wishes to you in your planning! I hope you find much help and encouragement here.
Post # 4
Welcome to the Hive.
That’s a lot of life changes to go through all at once.
Post # 5
@KCKnd2: Thanks a bunch! Even though I feel this way now, I know that if we really did just go to the courthouse, I’d regret it later. My FI’s family is also really big and tight knit so going away somewhere would be too difficult and I dont want to take their being a part of it away from them. Also, we paid for the venue 2 weeks after our engagement. Haha. We decided to get married on my dad’s birthday…I get really paranoid and didn’t want the date to get snatched from under me!
Post # 6
@Soon2B_MrsS: Welcome to the boards. I am so sorry to hear about your dad.
I think you need to do what is right for you. There is no rule that says you HAVE to plan a big wedding. Do the courthouse thing. Seriously. Why spend a lot of time and money planning for something you don’t really want?
My bf and I have decided to elope. My family doesn’t seem to care about us getting married so why would we go out of our way to put on an event that will most likely be unappreciated, stressful, and awkward? We’re going to go to our favorite hotel in the Rocky mountains and do something really simple and quick.
It’s your wedding, so you need to do what is right for you and your fiance.
Post # 7
@Soon2B_MrsS: One of my friends got married on her dad’s birthday after he had passed away. She has been married for over 10 years now and says it’s the best thing she could have done. She took a day that she could have been sad and mourning and gave herself a reason to celebrate.
I am truly sorry for your loss. I lost my mom not too long ago and planning my wedding without her around has been a complete emotional roller coaster. The girls on this board are here to help you and support you though. I’m glad you found your way here =)
Post # 8
Thanks again for your kind words!