- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
Hi everyone. I’m new to the site. Actually I’ve been reading posts here for quite some time, but I only just now got an account. I’ve been very frustrated for a while now. I’ve read others posts and I know I have no room to complain, but something happened yesterday that made me snap a little.
My SO and I have been together for two and a half years. We have a dog, a house, great jobs, both in great spots in our careers. He’s the love of my life. He comforts me when I’m upset, knows when to stay away and give me space, buys me “just because” flowers every few months. I suppose I don’t have much room to complain.
However, I’ve been ready to get married to him for the last year and a half. We’ve had discussions about it and we decided that moving into a house with a larger lot and nice house (for me) and a shop (for him) was a higher priority financially than buying a ring and paying for a wedding. So I rented out my house and we bought a new one. We have been living in it for a few months now. At first he told me it was a financial thing since we had just bled our savings dry with a down payment. But now I see him buying thousands of dollars’ worth of car parts for the car he is restoring and it’s hard for my heart not to sink a little (or a lot). At one point when I brought it up at that it hurts to see him buy all these things and I still don’t have a ring, his response was, “How do you know I am not buying both?” He said this in a very matter of fact way which got my hopes up. But a few months later and still nothing, I bring it up again, and he says that it’s a big decision and he knows plenty of people that got married too soon and it ended in divorce. He says he is sure he wants to marry me, but then he turns around and says he wants to MAKE SURE he wants to marry me before he proposes. I hate that my frickin’ future is in his hands. I am not going anywhere, not anytime soon, I really do love him, but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed.
Back to what happened yesterday, one of my best friends proposed to his gf on their 1 year anniversary (hard enough for me since it was right after my SO and I celebrated our two years). He invited me to be in the wedding party, and I was happy to do it (they are doing boys and girls on each side). But yesterday I get a text, not a phone call, a TEXT, from my friend telling me that his fiancé had a friend drop out of her side of the wedding party so he has to cut someone on his side, and that someone is me. It kind of crushed me. His engagement upset me enough, since I felt like it was my turn (selfish I know, but I couldn’t help feeling it), and then come to find out, out of all of his friends, I’m the one that he chooses to oust from the wedding party. I wish he had never asked me in the first place.
Sorry, I know this is long. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff, and you guys all seem really supportive and nice. Just thought I’d try my hand here.
Thanks for listening to my venting.