New baby with an anti-vaxx cousin.

posted 7 months ago in Parenting
  • poll: How to POLITELY tell cousins they can’t visit new baby.
    Just be direct with them privately. : (185 votes)
    81 %
    Make a generic post on Facebook and hope they see it. : (2 votes)
    1 %
    Just avoid them for as long as you can. : (20 votes)
    9 %
    I’m only here for the comments. : (21 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee

    slomotion :  I think you’ve hit on a very excellent (and disturbing!) point. Not all anti-vaxxers are vocal and open about it, someone may be unvaccinated and keep it to themselves, which is horribly irresponsible – IMO all anti-vaxxers are irresponsible but the ones who would deliberately conceal it so they don’t get flak from others are even more so.

    Post # 17
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    Be very direct. It doesn’t have to become a debate. Some anti-vaxxer’s will try and debate the issue with you. You don’t have to engage it will only become an agruement. Just straight out tell them no need to pussy foot around especially when it comes to your children. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    1585 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    Oooof. Be direct. Direct doesn’t have to equal mean or rude. My sister isn’t an antivaxxer but got really lazy with shots at one point for her second born and the consequences were pretty severe. It isn’t worth pussy footing about this. 

     

    However, this post made me realize I’m going to have to think about this at some point. Baby is eventually in the plans, and one of my best friends (she was in my wedding) was never vaccinated. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee

    Yea I have been surprised by some of my friends who have came out as anti-vaxxers. One guy who just had a premature baby and another friend of mine who is pregnant with her second baby now. He made a rant post on facebook about how he felt the hospital staff was “too pushy” in recommending that he vaccinate his son. Then my pregnant friend chimed in agreeing with him and saying how there is “monkey blood” in some of the vaccines. She actually said that. She is an attorney. I was shocked. You really don’t know who is and who isn’t. Which is super scary IMO. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    9632 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Yep just be direct. “I’m sorry but we cannot let anyone who isn’t vaccinated around the new baby until he is old enough to be vaccinated himself.”

    Soooo see them in like, 2 years lol.

    Post # 22
    Member
    6436 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would be direct with them privately if it becomes an issue.  Don’t make it one until they do.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1585 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    mrstodd2bee :  he and his brother (who was fully vaccinated) played with kids in a group setting, either at church or the gym daycare. They both got sick, but fully vaccinated nephew got a nasty ear infection, and my not fully vaccinated nephe had it manifest as full blown meningitis. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    5584 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2017

    libellules :  my guess is, they relied fully on science, medicine, and doctors to resolve the meningitis.

    There was a story not long ago about a six year old boy who got tetanus from a nasty cut. He got a cut and his parents stitched it up at home (I believe it was a rural area) and he ended up with tetanus a few days later. He spent a month in the icu and the bill was $800k. The parents also said they would not be vaccinating after this event either.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.health.com/vaccines/unvaccinated-boy-tetanus%3famp=true

    Post # 25
    Member
    5584 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2017

    People think vaccines are for big pharma to make money (among other fears) but vaccines are a fraction of the cost of treating these diseases. Wouldn’t they make more money by you getting sick than by you getting the vaccine?

    That’s only one reason that I’ve seen from the anti vaxx movement 

    Post # 26
    Member
    8468 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    teacher-bee-in-the-sea :  I would avoid them and if they ask to come meet the baby then be direct about it. The only way I would say something sooner is if they are the type to drop by unannounced because then I’d say something about it ASAP. Anyone who was going to stop by for more than a few minutes to drop-off food and say hello had to have an up-to-date TDAP too. My in-laws started to protest and we very bluntly said “it’s your choice, but if you want to spend any significant amount of time with your grandchild that’s our rule” and they complied. My dad was the best – his doctor jabbed him with it as soon as he mentioned I was pregnant so he was all done before I even asked! 

    I don’t grill people, but if I found out someone was anti-vaxx I wouldn’t let them spend time around my daughter at any age. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee

    Sansa85 :  That’s a good point that Big Pharma stands to make more money from a sick person than a vaccinated person. 

    I think some parents become fearful after hearing false claims regarding vaccines (like Jenny McCarthy telling everyone that it caused her son’s autism without any basis in fact). 

    I think too many anti-vaxxers are poorly educated on the diseases themselves and don’t realize how truly serious they are. So they think if their child gets measles or whooping cough, they’ll just be off school for a few days watching cartoons and sipping ginger ale with a blanket on the sofa, then good as new. They don’t realize these are serious even life threatening diseases that can have even more serious complications and that the child is gravely ill for weeks, even months & may, in some cases, suffer lasting damage. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    8468 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Another just general comment to try and minimize non-family exposure to unvaccinated kids. I interviewed two pediatricians and asked them their vaccine policy (in a way that they assumed I was anti-vaxx) and one said “well, we want you to get them all but we can discuss it and maybe adjust the schedule”. Wrong. Fucking. Answer. The next doctor said “no way in hell, unless your child has a medical condition you vaccinate in full, on time, or you get a new doctor. We have patients that cannot medically receive vaccines and I won’t let stupid people put them in danger.” Ding ding ding! That’s our doctor. 

    We also use a private daycare center that requires proof of vaccines on the CDC schedule and you’ll get the boot without it. 

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