- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Ok, so I admit it- I am a lurker who has been on here for a while and its about time I signed up to keep my sanity!
I plan to stick to the Mr Bees Pact and I think the hive may also be a good way to focus on how to be positive about waiting. Venting a little may also be quite cathartic and hopefully I can get some good pointers!
To put into context, I have lived with my SO for 6 months, together for 3.5 years and we only JUST had a chat about marriage in specific ‘us’ terms. I got myself all in a tiz on holiday and had a minor meltdown with tears (after several *ahem* glasses of wine). I told him I really wanted him to be the person I marry etc etc, but I had no idea how he felt and we really should have had this conversation before we moved in together. He couldnt believe I had wound myself up about it and his response was ‘of course I want to get married etc eventually, I dont want to be a bachelor forever! I love you etc etc yaddah yaddah…
Phew! so that was good and things have been really great since, I think we are really on the same page, and you’d think that would be enough but over the last month I have started thinking, but when? does he have a timescale in mind, does it depend on money, or his career, or by the time he is a certain age (hes 30 soon) etc. So I decided on one more (final) raising of the topic.
I asked him straight out last night in a relaxed way being cautious not to ambush him… ‘so this whole marriage idea, for you, is that by a certain time, or more when I have x amount of money saved, or when you have your dream job or something..?’
His answer was… Its a bit of all of those things really, and we’ve only lived together 7 months’
So now I am left with even less answers than when I started, he really did not give anything away..and I wonder if the engagement part (since I would be happy being engaged for a year or more) is not so important to guys, in the sense that he may not be thinking’if I want to get married in a year or so I need to get cracking’
In any case I have decided I may as well focus on myself a while..and see what happens. The waiting begins!
Do any bees have any advice other than not to nag and be patient?…