(Closed) New bee, and it’s my own fault I’m waiting!!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
307 posts
Helper bee

@Omgbunnies:  I’m right there with you, girl! Stop with this being silly nonsense! Think of it this way…unlike marriage, your career is just for you – it is what makes you happy and fulfilled. A few more years of investment can make a big difference.  Be proud! πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
4069 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Hello fellow waitingbee and welcome!

Never to early to join πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
22 posts
Newbee

It’s great you decided to pursue higher education, what an achievment! Your guy will be patiently waiting for you to finish and isn’t going anywhere, just remember by pursuing a Master’s you’re making such a terrific investment in your future together. Plus: Grad degree = More earning potential = Nicer wedding? haha. 

I’m a bit in the same boat, the engagement and wedding are being held off because I’m stuck in school. It does suck, I’ll grant you that…but it’ll be so much better for everyone in the long run and that’s what really counts! 

Post # 6
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

welcome! i’m actually in a very similar boat to you in terms of stage of life – i’m also in the middle of getting my masters degree, graduating next year! there’s no way you can regret going through with these studies, whereas you might have regretted not doing it just to get married earlier, so i think you’re definitely doing the right thing πŸ™‚

as for the waiting, have you asked him whether he would prefer a longer engagement or a shorter one? you might not have to ask him directily referring to a “timeline” as such, just see how he feels about it in general. then you might have a better idea of when he plans to do it!

my SO and i plan to get married after i graduate, and we’ve mutually agreed to get engaged in the coming few months, because we would prefer a longer engagement (we are LDR). i’m not even going to be planning a wedding during the entire engagement, because i want to concentrate on school and not have that as a major stress factor, but he was very keen to get engaged sooner rather than later and i’m on board with that. it really just depends on your personal feelings about it! i hope you get to talk to him so you can have a clearer idea, the unknown is always the most unnerving πŸ™‚ 

Post # 8
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hi! I’m a new bee here too and I completely understand your choice. I’m actually in the exact opposite situation as you, which I thought was kind of funny! I’m almost done with my bachelor’s now (one more semester to go) and applying for masters seminary programs, while my SO will be applying to law schools. It’s actually more financially-smart for us to live together after we finish our bachelors, but because of my religious committments and the fact I want to be a pastor, my denomination won’t let me cohabitate before marriage. That also means we’re going to be giving up the big wedding–which I’m sure will be amazing for you and a great reason to wait!–and have a small immediate family-and-friends-only (25 people max) budget destination wedding and a reception for everyone else we care about. So like I said, complete opposites: but I definitely think your way is just as valid as mine! 

I know you say you have fears of talking to him about it because you don’t want to scare him off, but I would definitely say just be honest: I know it’s hard, but I’ve had some really blunt conversations with my SO (after beating around the bush for a while of course!) about marriage and when, exactly, an engagement would happen, and they were really good for both of us. There was crying (me–I cry at everything…) but they actually really strengthened our relationship in the long-run. You’re in this together, and even if he doesn’t agree about having a long engagement (which it seems like you want) it would probably be really nice to know. 

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