Post # 1
Hi all, I’m new here. Been lurking a bit here and there and thought I’d like to join. I know my SO and I will be getting engaged and married in the future but not right this minute. I know for a fact we won’t be getting married until after I finish my Masters degree and don’t need to qualify for financial aid. Now my question is… Is it too early to join the WB waiting board? I don’t know what my SO is thinking. Part of me thinks he might spring for a long engagement, while a practical part of me thinks my SO won’t propose unless we can get married shortly after.
The kicker part of all this… If I had gone with my original plan of settling with my old plan (medical assisting) and just taken a ft job there, we could afford to move into a lil apartment and start a life, and he told me that had that happened he would’ve proposed once we moved in. AAAAHHHHHH! But I decided to be silly and finish my bachelors and pursue grad school. Oi! At least he supports me whatever I do.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to spending lots of time on the waiting boards 😉
Post # 3
@Omgbunnies: I’m right there with you, girl! Stop with this being silly nonsense! Think of it this way…unlike marriage, your career is just for you – it is what makes you happy and fulfilled. A few more years of investment can make a big difference. Be proud! 🙂
Post # 4
Hello fellow waitingbee and welcome!
Never to early to join 🙂
Post # 5
It’s great you decided to pursue higher education, what an achievment! Your guy will be patiently waiting for you to finish and isn’t going anywhere, just remember by pursuing a Master’s you’re making such a terrific investment in your future together. Plus: Grad degree = More earning potential = Nicer wedding? haha.
I’m a bit in the same boat, the engagement and wedding are being held off because I’m stuck in school. It does suck, I’ll grant you that…but it’ll be so much better for everyone in the long run and that’s what really counts!
Post # 6
welcome! i’m actually in a very similar boat to you in terms of stage of life – i’m also in the middle of getting my masters degree, graduating next year! there’s no way you can regret going through with these studies, whereas you might have regretted not doing it just to get married earlier, so i think you’re definitely doing the right thing 🙂
as for the waiting, have you asked him whether he would prefer a longer engagement or a shorter one? you might not have to ask him directily referring to a “timeline” as such, just see how he feels about it in general. then you might have a better idea of when he plans to do it!
my SO and i plan to get married after i graduate, and we’ve mutually agreed to get engaged in the coming few months, because we would prefer a longer engagement (we are LDR). i’m not even going to be planning a wedding during the entire engagement, because i want to concentrate on school and not have that as a major stress factor, but he was very keen to get engaged sooner rather than later and i’m on board with that. it really just depends on your personal feelings about it! i hope you get to talk to him so you can have a clearer idea, the unknown is always the most unnerving 🙂
Post # 7
Thanks everybody! 🙂 I am excited for school and love learning so I don’t regret it at all. Peonia, I actually have been trying to go with Mr. Bee’s Backup Plan for a week or so lol I couldn’t NOT mention or joke around about engagements. And yet… The other night, we were flipping through channels and found Say Yes: Bridesmaids, and we started talking about wedding costs and expenses. He thought they’re ridiculous and I said, “Well, we could always go elope and just have a party when we get back.” His immediate reaction was a shocked expression and a big fat NO. He said he wants a huge wedding! YET every time I talked to him in the past about this stuff he gets eye-rolly and big SIGH-like. This guy has to make up his mind!! Lol. Are those signs of maybe soonish? I know it definitely will happen at some point but I’m too afraid to talk to him about it for fear of scaring him off it.
Post # 8
Hi! I’m a new bee here too and I completely understand your choice. I’m actually in the exact opposite situation as you, which I thought was kind of funny! I’m almost done with my bachelor’s now (one more semester to go) and applying for masters seminary programs, while my SO will be applying to law schools. It’s actually more financially-smart for us to live together after we finish our bachelors, but because of my religious committments and the fact I want to be a pastor, my denomination won’t let me cohabitate before marriage. That also means we’re going to be giving up the big wedding–which I’m sure will be amazing for you and a great reason to wait!–and have a small immediate family-and-friends-only (25 people max) budget destination wedding and a reception for everyone else we care about. So like I said, complete opposites: but I definitely think your way is just as valid as mine!
I know you say you have fears of talking to him about it because you don’t want to scare him off, but I would definitely say just be honest: I know it’s hard, but I’ve had some really blunt conversations with my SO (after beating around the bush for a while of course!) about marriage and when, exactly, an engagement would happen, and they were really good for both of us. There was crying (me–I cry at everything…) but they actually really strengthened our relationship in the long-run. You’re in this together, and even if he doesn’t agree about having a long engagement (which it seems like you want) it would probably be really nice to know.