(Closed) New Bee but not new to waiting :(

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ah yes. I hear you. Maybe ask for a timeline? Something along the lines of:

Sweetie, I love you and I don’t want to pressure you, but can we talk? We first talked about getting married two years ago, and I don’t want to turn into a crazy lady with these weddings coming up, so…. Can you give me some sort of timescale so I don’t go mad? I.E it won’t be for at least 6 months but it won’t be over a year etc…

Post # 4
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

i would say have 1 more talk about a timeline then drop the wedding talk altogether, if you get the urge to vent or talk weddings, post here. not sure if you are familiar with Mr bees plan here, but do try the back up plan. i noticed the more i withdrew and focused more on myself the more fi chased when i stuck with the plan, which eventually led to our engagement. it couldnt hurt to try. good luck.

Post # 5
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yeah, I think you should definitely talk to him. A breakdown is absolutely no good. I know how you feel with all the weddings and it just driving you crazy. 

So head off the crazy breakdown with a conversation. I agree with flownmuse that you should sit down and have an honest conversation about the way you feel. Since wedding talk is not a new topic, I don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s better to share how you feel instead of trying to stuff it down. “Soon” is a little too vague and as us waiting Bees have found, our “soon” and the guy’s “soon” don’t usually match up.

Just be honest with him!  

Post # 6
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

First of all Welcome to weddingbee! you will finds tons of support here!. Hang in there and let him know your expectations of the future. Hopefully going to so many weddings will kick his butt into gear and get him really thinking about it. Best of luck to you!

 

Post # 8
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Great advice from everyone! I am in a similar situation to yours and I say the same(I’ve been with my SO for 7 years and am waiting for a promised proposal). Have one more conversation about a timeline and then try your best to drop it and focus on the rest of your life. I know how hard it is, but that is one reason why I joined here so that I could have an outlet for all of my wedding obsession without bothering my SO. I think you’ll be happy that you can come here and talk with others who are in the same situation as you.

Try to stay calm when you talk with him so that it doesn’t escalate. Let him know that it’s hard for you to go through other people’s weddings when it is something that you want so badly for yourself. Just tell him that you need a little reassurance so you can stop worrying and focus on more positive things.

Post # 9
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t think asking for some kind of timeline is too much at this point at all!… why not try asking him for a chat about it and focusing it more like, do you see us getting married in terms of time… ie 2 years, or ‘when it feels right’ or is it more of a money/career goal you would like to reach? maybe he is just waiting for the next payrise then BOOM it will happen? but I think it cant heart to ask so long as you say to yourself thats the one convo you are going to have, then leave it back in his ball court- good luck! 

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