(Closed) New Bee. Married and Child Free-Contraception Chat Please!

posted 4 years ago in No Kids
Post # 2
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We have been in agreement on no kids since we started sleeping together when we were dating. Now that we have been married for 5 months, weve been talking about vasectomy.  I want off the pill and want to ditch the chemicals in my body. He’s not excited about it but sees the benefits and it’s easier for him than me to get fixed. I’ve been on the pill since we started having sex and we also use condoms every time, no exceptions.  He’s only excited about ditching the condoms! I’m super paranoid about having an oops or having a bc failure so I want it fixed for good.  i am super good about my pills bc I’m very motivated to not get pregnant…a pill app on my phone helps. Right now we’ve been house shopping and want to sort that out before a vasectomy as you can’t lift boxes or move furniture for a bit after you have that procedure. 

Post # 4
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

childfreebee16:  We’re child-free for now and several years to come, so we’re not looking at totally permanent solutions, just longer term ones, but I just wanted to jump in and ask if you’ve ever considered getting an IUD??

If your Darling Husband isn’t ready to go full-on vasectomy, maybe an IUD would be a good option to start. At least that lasts a few years (at a minimum, depending on the IUD) and you don’t have to worry about taking pills everyday. I have Mirena, a hormonal IUD, and I love it, I don’t even have periods anymore. They also have a non-hormonal option that last 9 years (I think?) if hormones are a concern for you.

Post # 5
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I LOVE my Mirena. I haven’t had a period in over three years.

Post # 6
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

childfreebee16:  We had to switch to the non latex SKYN brand ones as I had the burning from the latex.  More expensive..but my comfort is worth it and hey, still cheaper than a kid.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Chimpy24.
Post # 7
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

childfreebee16:  

We were married for 2 years when my husband had his vasectomy. I tried to get my tubes tied but I was refused several times. I was also told that a vasectomy was much easier on a man than a tubal ligation was for a woman. 

I am so happy that my husband did this for us. The vasectomy is a great comeback to people who say that I will change my mind or have an “oops”. They NEVER know what to say to that. They just look surprised and say “Oh…!” 

Post # 8
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Vasectomy for us, after we were married for 6 months. My husband was all for it, we were in and out of the urologist’s office in less than 45 minutes. He didn’t even feel the need to take any of the pain meds he was prescribed afterward. Best decision ever. 

Post # 9
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

childfreebee16:  Well, I am not CFBC–I have one child and am pregnant with another, but my Darling Husband and I are stopping at two, and Darling Husband is all excited to get his “March Madness” vasectomy. (fun fact: vasectomies go up like, 50% or something in the month of March because it is an out-patient surgery, yet requires brief medical leave, so there are a lot of guys who sit around icing their crotch while they watch college bball 🙂 ) We agreed it’s a much easier and simpler operation for him to do this than for me, so that’s the plan. 

I’ve also recommended the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” like, 80 million times which is a really good resource for getting familiar with your own reproductive cycles (personally, I think this is stuff every teenage girl should learn just for monitoring her reproductive health), and to wit, it’s used by TTC couples, as well as CFBC couples, just for opposite reasons! But while we poo-poo the “rhythm method,” many of us don’t actually have any idea what’s going on with our bodies, and it’s perhaps not necessarily the “method” but our own ignorance that makes it less successful. So I recommend the book, even if you take BC or he gets the vasectomy. It can’t hurt and will probably give you additional piece of mind to know what to expect from your own unique biology. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  BothCoasts.
Post # 10
Member
5159 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

When we started dating (and when we married) I was using a copper IUD and had been using it for about 5 years by the time we married. I loved it and intended to use it forever, but started having some issues with it about 2 years later after a replacement.

We switched to condoms for a bit, then I back on the pill, then I finally just decided to go ahead and get sterilized. It made sense for me to do it as I felt more comfortable having a procedure (I have had surgery previously and was familiar with process), as I could get my tubes removed as part of it(have hereditary risks), and to me it was a peace of mind thing. I always was the more childfree one of us, and my husband is more childfree because *I* am childfree so it just felt right to me. Also, vasectomies can fail, and I know CF men who go back and get tested annually to make sure (and I would want this to happen!).  I mean, most tubals aren’t 100% either, but having my tubes removed is quite 100%.

My surgery and recovery were both fine, by far much easier than my other procedures since it was laprascopic and very short!

I LOVE being sterilized. Really, it feels like an awesome freedom. Wish I had done it sooner!

Post # 11
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Chimpy24:  I second the SKYN.  I’m not allergic to latex, but I didn’t find the latex condoms to be very comfortable.  The SKYN kind is AWESOME.

Post # 13
Member
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We’re not CFBC’ers but we are a one baby and done couple. We had our son almost 3 months ago and I had my Copper IUD inserted 2ish weeks ago. I’ve had my first period on it and had no increase in cramps (I actually had less cramps and no increase in bleeding) I can’t tell you how great it feels to have sex with out worry and it’s good for 5 years! 

Post # 14
Member
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hubby and I are CFBC, he’s 31 and I’m 28, and while we currently have no plans for children, I wanted them when I was younger, and could change my mind in the next few years, so I’ll be getting my copper IUD replaced this year, as I’ve had it for 10 years now. 

We’ll have been together 10 years this fall, and married for 4 this summer. If we both had been 100% on board from the get-go about no kids, he would have had a vasectomy last year since my IUD has to come out this year (that would give us plenty of time to make sure it “took”). 

 

Post # 15
Member
681 posts
Busy bee

My SO got a vasectomy. They are much easier to recover from and less expensive (just a $25 co-pay for us) than getting your tubes tied. My SO was fine with it, though he did say he got pretty nervous right before and during the procedure, but said that it wasn’t painful. He’s happy he did it.

If you go the vasectomy route, do your research first to find a good doctor who uses the best method (I can’t remember what it is atm), make sure your guy rests like he is supposed to, and make sure he gets his sperm checked afterwards like he is supposed to. That’s how a lot of women get pregnant; they have unprotected sex before it’s safe.

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