posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I Compromise with my mother?

    Tell her to deal with it.

    Have my step-father walk me half way and pass me off to her.

    Elope now and save myself the trouble.

  • Post # 2
    3848 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    HalloweenBee15:   The choice of escort down the aisle is yours, and yours alone.  Make your choice, and stand by it.  Otherwise the entire tone for the wedding planning will be set, and not in a good way.  Wishing you strength!!  *hugs*  

    Post # 3
    213 posts
    Helper bee

    First, its YOUR wedding.  YOUR choice.

    Second, if shes going to be dramatic and hang money over your head, pay her back and tell her you are an adult and will be handling the finances & choices on your own.  “You raised me to be kind & intelligent, have faith I will make the best choices for me and my future husbands wedding”

    Third, If he walks you down the aisle, maybe the compromise for her is that he gets to the end, kiss/hugs and sits down and when the officiant asks “who gives this woman to be married etc” then your mother can stand and say that she does.  

    Post # 4
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    You have a lot of time so right now, just take a deeeeeeep breath. I kind of had the same situation. I just told my mom that my step dad was going to walk me down the aisle as it is my wedding and he is the one that raised me and was my father as far as I was concerned. I can understand how she feels but ultimately it is YOUR decision and you have to be firm if that is what you really want. 

    When you tell her though, explain in a loving sensible way. I try to say something nice, then tell her firmly, then say something nice again. Maybe like – “I’ve thought a lot about what you said and I can see and understand how you feel, mom. I love you very much and I’m not trying to show disrespect, but he is the one that raised me and I still maintain a close relationship with him and I have decided that for MY wedding that I want him to walk me down the aisle. I love you very much and I hope that you can take into consideration MY feelings and desires for my wedding.” Then maybe go on with how and what you would like her to be involved with and that you really hope she is there to help you pick out your dress. 

    Maybe even think about having a rose ceremony during the wedding where the minister has each of you offer a rose to the mothers and you can say something special. That way they are recognized during the actual ceremony and you can tell her something heartfelt. 

    The topic ‘NEW BEE – NEED SOME SERIOUS ADVICE ABOUT DRAMA WITH MY MOTHER!!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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