New bee needing advice please

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

He is showing his true color. Leave before it is too late 

Post # 32
Member
3675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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kls90 :  the only thing age has to do with it is that sometimes, younger women can be easier to manipulate and abuse. He is being emotionally and verbally abusive to you! My husband is 10 years older than me and he would NEVER cuss at me or tell me to shut up! He is literally more likely to sprout wings and fly away.

Your boyfriend is an abuser and fits the part perfectly…. starts off sweet, comes on really strong, gets you to move in with him, then starts abusing you once he has you trapped. 

LEAVE. It’s only going to get worse. 

Post # 33
Member
468 posts
Helper bee

Leave this man!!! These are way beyond red flags, this is verbal and emotional abuse!

Post # 34
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee

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kls90 :  big red flags, actually the first one in your post is that he kept pursuing you after you said you werent ready, but “he would not take no for an answer”

Number 2 was suggestion you move in so quickly

Number 3 was him being quick to anger

4. Lying

5. namecalling, putting blame on you (calling you controlling over his short comings of not being able to quit)

so take your pick on which red flag.

Time to go. 

Post # 35
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

Red flags. Get out now. No man that really loves you will berate you or call you names.  He will probably end up being just like the man you dated before him.  

Post # 36
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

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kls90 :  Hi bee, I can understand that after you were in a physically abusive relationship (by the way, I am so sorry you had to go through that and I am so glad you are safely out of it) that your mind and judgement is skewed about what is a good relationship and a good, respectful, loving and caring partner.

Many people who come from bad relationships whether its abuse, cheating, manipulation etc have a jaded view of what is a normal, happy and trusting relationship looks like and that is totally understandable.

This is why I think you are on here asking if things are red flags that most of us on here will 100% say yes.. and yes they are most definately red flags

I would say the fact that he helped you get out of this previous relationship, knowing you are so hurt emotionally and physically and insanely vulnerable and confused and THEN he pursued you.. was the first massive red flag, the fact that after you said no he kept going is even worse..

Him buying you flowers and being persistent wasn’t romantic or kind, it was maniulative and to me not much different then when adults buy things to groom children in order to gain their trust and exploit them..

He gained your trust he looked like a hero helping you get out of relationship he acted what seemed like a romantic nice kind but in reality he is looking to hurt you.. just in a different way.

Please get yourself out of this situation and away from him, this is not a good person and I think spend some time loving yourself.. and being happy being alone before pursuing a relationship.

Post # 37
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Stop moving in so quickly with men you don’t know. Stop doing that!!!

You need to seriously stop dating and be alone for awhile. You also need therapy to help you break this vicious cycle of dating abusers 

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