(Closed) New-Bee Needing Advice…

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 18
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Like mmmtacos, I asked myself if I would stay without marriage. And I think that I would. I know my SO is the person I want to share my life with. And while I’d love to get married to make that commitment solid in the eyes of the church, government, etc, if he was blatantly against it, I would still stay. It wasn’t an easy decision to come to because I was raised with the belief that marriage is very important (and should precede kids, lol, that being said, we wouldn’t be having kids without being married). But that’s a whole ‘nother story. So I would suggest sitting down and seriously thinking about whether you would want to stay with him even if he didn’t want to get married.

Post # 19
Member
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think you’re being selfish at all either. I feel along the same lines as the others on here that think it’s unfair for you to wait around. While I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum, I would probably do something similar to that. I would let him know that I won’t be waiting around that long to get married, and I would be leaving when I was tired of waiting.

SOmething like that. I know it’s not good to force him in to anything-he’ll just resent you then, so it’s a pretty difficult situation.

I hope it gets  worked out!

Post # 20
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

I dont think you are being selfish. I believe you have the right to know from him whether or not he plans on spending the rest of his life with you. Me and my manpanion didnt move in together until after we had been together for 4 years. Six months later I am still waiting for a e-ring. Some guys are just slower than others. Maybe he will change his mind the longer you guys are together. But I think that you should sit down and talk to him and let him know what your hopes for the future are.

Hope this helps.

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