Post # 17
Member
20 posts
Newbee
thanks everyone for the support and advice. it helps to know that i am not so crazy for wanting to get married 🙂
i’ve had many discussions with him on the issue, especially in the last month or two. you see, i have always envisioned getting married around the age of 25 or 26, if i was with the right guy. now that i am closing in on that age, i have really started to think about where our relationship is going.
a couple weeks ago we were discussing marriage and he told me he knew he wanted to marry me someday and wanted to have kids someday. but he still thinks it is too soon. he says we are young and doesnt want to rush into anything. he said something along the lines of “if we get engaged now, what do you think of a long engagement… around 5 years”.
last night i asked him where he saw himself in 5 years and he said “married with a one year old”. now i am really confused.
i know that i care too much about him to give up on him right now. i plan on giving him some time and us some time to work through this.
Post # 18
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
Like mmmtacos, I asked myself if I would stay without marriage. And I think that I would. I know my SO is the person I want to share my life with. And while I’d love to get married to make that commitment solid in the eyes of the church, government, etc, if he was blatantly against it, I would still stay. It wasn’t an easy decision to come to because I was raised with the belief that marriage is very important (and should precede kids, lol, that being said, we wouldn’t be having kids without being married). But that’s a whole ‘nother story. So I would suggest sitting down and seriously thinking about whether you would want to stay with him even if he didn’t want to get married.
Post # 19
Member
2716 posts
Sugar bee
I don’t think you’re being selfish at all either. I feel along the same lines as the others on here that think it’s unfair for you to wait around. While I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum, I would probably do something similar to that. I would let him know that I won’t be waiting around that long to get married, and I would be leaving when I was tired of waiting.
SOmething like that. I know it’s not good to force him in to anything-he’ll just resent you then, so it’s a pretty difficult situation.
I hope it gets worked out!
Post # 20
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
I dont think you are being selfish. I believe you have the right to know from him whether or not he plans on spending the rest of his life with you. Me and my manpanion didnt move in together until after we had been together for 4 years. Six months later I am still waiting for a e-ring. Some guys are just slower than others. Maybe he will change his mind the longer you guys are together. But I think that you should sit down and talk to him and let him know what your hopes for the future are.
Hope this helps.
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