Post # 1
i am new here and could really use some advice. I am getting married April 2014 (so excited!) and i love my Fiance very much. We have been together almost 9 years and I am very close with his parents. They usually include me in everything- always inviting me for dinner, taking me out to dinner-I get a long with them really well.
A few years after we started dating Fiance and family started taking all inclusive vacations. They never invited me, but I was fine with that. Fiance told me they were not going to take a vacation this year because money is tight (his parents are giving us some money for wedding) and Future Mother-In-Law just had her hours cut at work.
Well it turns out they are taking a vacation in October. And Future Mother-In-Law is calling it the FFV; for Final Family Vacation-because her son is getting married and they will never have a vacation again. I am hurt she is calling it this-to my face- and also that they didnt think to include me. I understand they cant pay for me, but I could have paid.
Fiance doesnt really agree that it is called the FFV, but also doesnt understand how hurt I am. They talk about it all the time in front of me. My parents would have included him on a trip because he is my Fiance.
I am just really upset but maybe I am over reacting? I dont know if I should have Fiance say something to Future Mother-In-Law to stop calling it that?
Post # 3
I am sorry that it is hurting your feelings that sucks.
I take it that your FI’s family is close and if they have been taking this particular family vacation for years then yes to them it is their final family vacation. It is probably a pretty emotional thing for them especially your Future Mother-In-Law. I think you need to cut them some slack.
You never know next year might be the start of a new era of family vacations.
Post # 4
I would feel hurt too. I am treated like family by SO’s family and have always been included. I would be upset not to be invited (like you said, you aren’t expecting them to pay for you!). I wouldn’t have your Fiance say anything to you Future Mother-In-Law about the wording of the holiday, just try to ignore it and just every time they think talk about it, just think how nice it will be when you get to start your very own traditions such as family holidays! 🙂 Also… welcome to the bee x
Post # 5
@icecream21: i’m sorry your going through this. I could see how it would hurt. I am close with my SO family and it would hurt if everyone was invited but me. Is he an only child? His mom might just be having a hard time letting him go. I moved out and in with my SO a year ago and my mom had a hard time with me leaving. Everyone deals with things differently. What does your SO say about it?
Post # 6
Thats horrible. I’d feel insulted. Together for 9 years and never been invited to a family vacation? I was with a boyfriend and I was insulted for not being invited to Thanksgiving dinner! I would definately say something to him and/or his parents about how you feel about it. I’d be pretty upset and hurt and left out. Is this how they will treat you when you guys are married? That’s what you have to ask yourself. Good luck.
Post # 7
@icecream21: That’s not right and you’re not overreacting. They’re purposely excluding you – that would hurt me, too. IMO, your Fiance should refuse to go if you’re not included and he should pay your way, not you.