(Closed) New Bee needs help! Guest list Crisis! PLEASE REPLY!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1998 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Numbers 1 and 3 are really cute! 🙂

Post # 21
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Cut the list. Invite the people you really care about and don’t worry about the others. If they are really your friends, they will understand that it’s better to not begin your married life with big debts!

Post # 22
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

For sure cut the list. I know you feel bad about not inviting people who invited you to their weddings–my Darling Husband went through the same thing, but people totally understood. We had 85 guests attend and it was perfect. I DIYed a ton and we got so many compliments on everything.

Also, I really love that second save the date.

Post # 24
Member
2625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsKrystalClark:  I second the PPs when I say that I truly understand how you feel. I have family that I have planned to invite, but they haven’t been necessarily present in my life, not because they don’t like me, but that’s just how they are (step aunts& uncles etc.). I’m really just sending invites to be polite and so my heart and mind can be clear that I did extend the olive branch.

However, I do believe that you should %100 cut down the guest list to one that will enable you to go on a honey moon. It’s about you and your future husband. Point. Blank. Period. Cut the guest list and if anybody asks any questions, which they probably won’t, say we can’t afford a very long guest list. That’ll shut them up because they aren’t paying anything.

Also, if you are having a plated dinner, switch to a buffet, and or do heavy appetizers all night.

Cut the list, save the money, and move to a nice neighborhood. You will be happier! I love save the date number 3 by the way!

Post # 27
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsKrystalClark:  I totally did and then forgot to comment, duh! I’ll post over there.

Post # 28
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@beachbride1216:  THIS!

@MrsKrystalClark:  Cut the list, people will understand. If they ask, just be honest and say “I’m really sorry, but we can’t afford a long guest list, so we’re keeping it small”. Honeymoon is way more important thaN having a large wedding!!!

I love STD #3 🙂

Post # 29
Hostess
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsKrystalClark:  Cut the list. First off, when you are in elementary school, you have to invite people to you birthday if they invite you (please I am not calling anyone a child, it’s just a example), but we are adults now and we should be able to not getting upset about not getting invited to someone’s small wedding because they had a big one. That’s all a perfect world, but truth is we don’t live in one. So people will get upset if they don’t get a invite, but you may be surprised, some may be 100% understanding and still be your friends (then you know your real friends..yayyy for real friends). 

As for family you don’t want to invite, let me tell you I went through this, and you know what…I only invited my family member that I know support me, my marraige, and I know love me and talk to me. I had nasty facebook messages from extended relative because they felt intitled to come to my wedding, and they didn’t….I didn’t care..I had those I wanted and that’s all I needed and wanted. 

 

Also I tell you what I did, I didn’t send out save the dates. There are a lot of PROS to not sending them out…(just hear me out on this)

1)In case your situation changes  close to the wedding  (your current situation for example) you can ADD or SUBTRACT guests depending on how much you can afford , up until the invites go out a few months before. (Tell people that need more notice, tell them word of mouth)

2)Save money on the postage money (this is a great idea in your situation)..

 

 

Post # 30
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MrsKrystalClark:  Since you haven’t sent out Save the Dates, I would cut the list. I know it’s hard to not feel pressured to invite people who you feel obligated to, but since budget is an issue, I would really go back over the list. Think about who you truly want to celebrate with – have they supported you and your FI? Are they fun? People you can’t imagine not having there? The day is about you and your Fiance, so don’t feel guilty.

Weddings should be fun, not stressful! It’s more important to have a solid start to a life together than to go into debt to avoid hurting people you arent THAT close to’s feelings. 

Post # 31
Member
11268 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

pretty simple, you cannot afford a wedding with 150 guests.  cut the list.  have the wedding that you can afford.  if you were already over budget by $5000 before, it sounds like you cannot have more than 80 guests.

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