(Closed) New-bee on the Block

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hmm, when you vent are you venting about him to him or just things that bother you in general (not including him)?

Post # 5
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just take a deep breath and try not to vent to him. Go for a walk or write and let your frustration out that way. The communication thing is something that needs fixed asap because, obviously, thats key in a relationship. Talk to him about this and see what input he has, if there is something he needs from you or you need from him.

Post # 6
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My SO and I are like this as well but we’re opposite.

What happens is that SO has a temper and he gets angry very easily. Also he gets angry at the dumbest things. For example he got a new car and within a few days it was rattling, sounding like we were continuously driving over man hole covers. Well this pissed SO right off and he would not stop bitching, moaning and lamenting. Me, in the seat was getting tired of his sudden outbursts of screaming ‘come on’ and ‘are you fucking kidding me’ so I said ‘listen, there’s nothing you can do about it now – we’ve already got an appointment at the mechanic for TOMORROW and you can have it checked then’.

NOPE. Still angry, still mad. So his negative, angry energy transferred to me and we ended up arguing and ruining the night.

When you’re venting is it negative about him/the relationship? You may just need a new way of expressing yourself? Do you have a ‘for instance’ situation?

For me, I’ve told SO that he needs to just calm down and try to contro his outbursts because they set me off too

Post # 7
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hmm perhaps you are venting to him at the wrong time? You should check out men are from mars women are from venus, that book helped me understand myself and my fiance a lot more.

Post # 10
Member
33 posts
Newbee

This happens to me every so often after those long, shitty days. The thing that works best for me is exercise. It releases A LOT of tension/aggressive feelings, makes me concentrate on what I’m doing (and not what I was frustrated with), and I feel so good about myself for going on a 20 minute run, by the time I get back I’m pretty much over whatever was bothering me. Hope that helps!

Post # 11
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Regarding that book, it really helped me understand both why i do the things i do and why he does the things he does.  It teaches you how men & women communicate differently and really puts it into laymans terms. 

Post # 13
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I know what you mean, my Boyfriend or Best Friend was the same way but when I talked to him about it he said it was because I was always venting and it just bummed him out because he felt like I was never happy. 

So now I know when to let it slide and when to say something. 🙂 

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