(Closed) New BEE on the WAIT! HELP out!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Well i think that this 

“I feel like I’ve tried to compromise on every level and he’s refused.” 

is almost the sadest part of your post.

But bottom line hes proposing before the end of the year! Thats very exciting! I would just wait and try enjoy the waiting time and come Jan 2013 if no ring maybe re-evaluate the relationship. It should be 50/50 not all what he wants and not all what you want IMO.

Post # 4
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m in a kind of similar situtation as you. I’ve been dating my bf for a bit over 3 years and I was ready to get engaged with a long engagement a year ago. But he wasn’t ready. He said the same as your bf, that he wanted to marry me and loved me, but he just wasn’t ready yet. It’s a big life changing thing! I had to come to terms with the fact that I’d have to wait till he was ready too. Maybe your bf just isn’t READY to make such a big commitment yet, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, he’s just not ready. Try to be patient, it sounds like it will happen soon! Also maybe he’ll have some awesome proposal planned out for a certain time in the next three months. Good luck!

Post # 5
Hostess
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Welcome!! 🙂

I agree with PP — there is a proposal in sight, at the end of the year!  I know it’s sometimes hard to wait (I’m impatient, too!), but try to keep it in perspective.  If nothing happens by January, then it’s time to re-evaluate.  IN the meantime, try not to dwell on it or nag him about it (easier said than done, I know).

Post # 7
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Not obsessing is difficult!!  For the month or so prior to my engagement (which happened less than two weeks ago!!) I was OBSESSED with planning what I called my “imaginary” wedding.  I had it all planned out and was just waiting for the bf to be ready.  It’s really important to let him do it in his own (reasonable amount) of time. 

I had a close friend push for marriage with her bf and theyre now divorced because the guy just wasn’t ready (I think he was only 19 at the time!).  I guess he felt like he missed out on life by getting married so young…

On the other spectrum of things, my sister has been with her boyfriend for 4 years now, they knew each other and were close friends for years before they started dating, but still no engagement!  She is 26 and he’s 27 so it’s not like they’re not old enough to be considering marriage.  They have lived together before, although they now each live with their parents (which i think is strange…why live together two years and then decide move back home). It seems like instead of moving forward in their relationship they’re moving backwards!  I know my sister really wants to get married, I just don’t know if her bf does and idk if they talk about it! She keeps making excuses for him such as her latest that she knew my bf was gonna propose so thats why her bf couldnt…uhh what? That makes no sense.

But ANYWAY…It’s important to talk with your bf about his future plans but I agree with other posters, leave the issue alone and if there’s no proposal by the end of the year as promised, re-evaluate!

Post # 8
Member
1100 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@angsirhca:  I can understand the no long engagement thing. I was engaged for 10 months and that was quite long for me. I did not want a long engagement as I think once you say yes the engagement should be as long as it takes to plan the wedding. I wouldn’t take that as a sign he doesn’t want to marry you, more that just not yet.

 

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