Post # 1
First of all I have been lurking here for a few weeks now, and have to say how much I have come to appreciate the collective wisdom of so many other bees! It seems like I can find an answer to almost every situation on these boards, so thanks!
I am new here to the hive, so I’ll give you a short background. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I and have been together for 3.5 years. We are both in our mid twenties. We have lived together for two years, and own a home together.
Last year it seems like all of my friends in serious relationships got engaged, except for me. It was hard because many of them had not been together as long as my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I felt like somehow I did something wrong. This summer I am a Bridesmaid or Best Man in 4 weddings, and my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are attending 7 weddings total, so it’s been a lot of events. Anyway, after a few false alarms (including one night calling my BFF from a restaurant bathroom telling her this is the night!)– I realized my turn was not coming until this year (a year after most of my friends). At first this bothered me, but then I realized I didn’t want my special day to be not just another wedding in this long parade of friend’s weddings, especially since everyone has just seemed to get frustrated with everyone else. So I calmed down, and it has definitely been for the better!
However, about a week ago I realized he has gotten much more serious about things. He openly tells me he has become a “diamond expert”, and told me that it is coming soon, so to be patient! So for the past few weeks I have really been WAITING, and know I am close! I admit to some amount of harmless snooping–so I do know that he has at least looked into some rings. We also went ring shopping a few months ago, very casually, so I feel confident he knows what I like.
Well last night we started to talk in specifics, and he asked about when he should ask my parents, and what venues we like. I know he is well aware that we will need at least a year to plan, so I now it’s going to come before the end of summer (and I feel like much sooner). He has said he wants to have a Fall 2013 wedding, and its’ was almost like we were planning everything but we are not even engaged.
Do you bees have any advice on things I should be thinking/saying/doing right now? I’m so excited, and nervous!
Post # 3
@mgbee: Your story sounds so similar to mine, except that we have chosen not to live together until marriage. We’ve been together 3.5 yrs, and are attending several weddings this year. We just got engaged a month ago and are planning a May 2013 wedding. The most important advice I can give you is to TRY to resist the urge to constantly poke and prod him about getting engaged. I finally got the message not to do that months ago, but I feel like if I hadn’t nagged him at all (as I was at the end of 2011), I probably would have gotten engaged sooner. The more I talked about it, the further he pushed the proposal back so that when he did it, it would be a surprise and wouldn’t seem like he did it to shut me up 😉 Talking about wedding planning every once in a while is OK, especially if he brings it up, but try not to ask him about the engagement/proposal. I also went looking at rings with my Fiance about 4 months before he proposed. I felt like since I took part of the surprise away by helping him pick my setting, I wanted to give him the freedom to propose however and whenever he wanted, and I’m so glad I did. It was the best moment of my life.
Congrats and good luck girl! Try to enjoy this time.. as soon as you’re engaged, the wedding planning is crazy! 🙂 And trust me, I know how hard it is to wait. But it’s so worth it.
P.S. My Fiance also asked when he should talk to my parents… turns out he had done it back in February without my knowledge and was trying to throw me off. You never know… your guy MAY be doing the same thing.
Post # 4
First off, welcome and I hope you find the advice you looking for here. Everyone is so great and very wise!
Wow, that’s a lot of weddings to attend for you and I know how hard that can make waiting. However, it sounds like things are on-track as far as you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend. It’s so very very good that you guys have communicated and are on the same page. Feeling like you are planning a wedding while waiting for the proposal can feel frustrating. However, I feel like you aren’t far off from a proposal.
My advice? Relax! You are a good position and now the ball is in his court. So your job now should be to focus on yourself. Find more hobbies, hang out with your friends, do things that take your mind off of when the heck he’s going to do it. Mr. Bee’s Plan (if you do a search, you should be able to find it) has some excellent advice. Enjoy the time you have with your Boyfriend or Best Friend and always remember no matter how much you hate waiting, you love him.
Hope this helps!
Post # 5
Kay1126: I actually thought of that! Last night I was wondering if he had maybe already asked my dad. Our parents happened to be toegether for an event a few weeks ago, and his mom joked that “Ill see you soon, maybe next at a WEDDING” — since she is always asking us (in a fun loving joking way) when thats gonig to happen. My dad’s reponse was “Soon. Sooner than we all even know”. And I got VERY suspicious. I am trying not to think about that, but still…. hard to do!
ColoradoGirl: Thanks for the advice! Waiting is hard, but in a way the excitement and anticipation may be half the fun!
Post # 6
Like PP said, relax and enjoy! Wedding craziness will be on you before you know it 🙂 Just keep being patient–it sounds like he definitely has a plan, so just sit back and let him do his thing. And keep us posted!
Post # 7
keep your nails looking nice 🙂
Post # 8
I would say relax and get through those weddings, geez those are a lot of weddings but I agree with you that your special occasion shouldn’t be with anybody elses. Also I am happy for you! seems he is planning this all out and getting everything perfected for you!
Post # 9
I could have written this post! we are the same age, dating the same amount, everything!!I would tell him you have your heart set on a fall 2013 wedding and you need a year to plan. that should let him know he needs to propose sooner than later. and to put wedding talks on hold until you are officially engaged!
Post # 10
Sounds like us! Not engaged but have started talking/light planning for a fall 2013 wedding. Go us!?! lol. If you figure out how to be patient let me know! I’m trying to just not talk about anything unless he brings it up first. Easier said than done though!
Post # 11
Me and you are in the same boat! We know for sure that it’s coming soon…but when exactly?! Ooooh…exciting!
The best thing to do is just relax and find comfort in knowing that it is happening soon. Don’t ask about it, just be content that this man loves you enough to want to marry you!
If you really, really want to talk about it, discuss it with your family or friends. That way you don’t risk him pushing the day back.
Congratulations, girl! 🙂