Post # 1
Hi, fellow Wedding Bees! I’m brand new to the board and wanted to introduce myself as well as my current situation.
My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and a half. We’ve talked about getting married for quite some time and just moved in together. My family is very traditional and this did not go over very well with them. So my boyfriend had “the talk” with my dad back in February and asked for permission to marry me. My dad gladly gave it and then we started to talk about ring shopping. He isn’t the type to pick out jewelry so we decided to go together and look. Finally about 2 weeks ago we went and I found the ring, or at least style of ring I want. My boyfriend has told me that he has a tentative date picked out for the proposal (in some ways, in only makes me more anxious!!) and that in the next few months I just need to be patient. The only issue with buying the ring is money. He’s a 1st year teacher and hasn’t been great about saving money. Thankfully, he has a summer job that will bring in a good amount of extra money. So I have a feeling he planning the proposal sometime in the summer.
We are both big into hiking and because we live in Colorado, we try to go every weekend in the summer. Last night he asked if I wanted to hike another 14er and told me to set aside August 8th as our hike date. This is coming from the man that can’t decide what he wants for dinner because it’s too far way to plan. So I have a hunch that he’s planning on proposing during our trek. I could be completely wrong but it just seems so unlike him to choose a hike date 4 months in advance. So now I’m stuck waiting, which is already driving me crazy. Do any of you have any suggestions on how to stop obsessing over when it’s going to come? I’m kind of prone to over-thinking and worry so it’s on my mind a lot. Plus, it’s just exciting!
I’m also the 2nd oldest out of 5 kids and my little brother and his girlfriend are talking about getting engaged this summer too. Most of my life I’ve shared events/hobbies/accomplishments with at least one of my siblings. For once, I just want one occasion to be completely mine. I know it sounds selfish, but I don’t want to have to share being engaged or the wedding with my brother’s girlfriend. Any suggestions on how to let go of that and just let things happen as they will?
Thanks for reading!!!
Post # 3
@ColoradoGirl: what worked for me during the waiting (which was abut 8 months) was open discussions and explanations that big life decisions should not be approached as if they are a surprise birthday party. I am a little bit anxious and a naturally shy person so I really wanted him to understand why the whole thing made me so nervous.
Post # 4
Welcome to Weddingbee! you will find so much support during your waiting time, through planning and even after marriage on the newlywed boards! This is a great place to vent with those waiting moments become just so anxious!
I’m one of 5 kids too! and my husband is one of 13. We got engaged a month before his sisters wedding and married 6 months after. I actually felt really bad when we were at her wedding and people kept asking about when we were getting married i kinda just shrugged and let them know we were waiting until after her day to figure it out. I really loved that i had his sister to go to though, she had the guest list for me already (huge plus!) and she totally understood that people who werent getting married could really care less about wedding details and it was all i cared to talk about for several months. Its nice to have someone who had gone through it too.
Good luck on waiting for your ring! enjoy the summer knowing something great is waiting at the end!
Post # 5
Thank you both for the encouragement. I have to look at the bright side of everything and enjoy this time instead of worrying!
Post # 6
I’m in the same boat. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been together about 8 months and he and i have talked openly about getting married for a while. Recently he has said to his room mate, co workers, strangers at an interview, and my parents that he was going to propose…he then told me.
I’m almost getting frustrated becasue he has the idea to propose, has told people he is going to and then tells me. I’m nervous, anxious, and slightly annoyed because now i just want the ring on my hand. Almost in a <sigh>” Just propose already.” mentality.
Bees, how do i combat this? I know his proposal is going to special but the surprise has gone out of it.
Post # 7
@Seattlerains83: Sorry it took me so long to reply! I didn’t see you had written anything. Personally, for me, in order not to get grumpy and annoyed at the fact that we aren’t engaged yet, I’m trying to find other things to focus on. I have a full and wonderful life that I’m thankful for and reminding myself of that keeps my attitude positive. Right now, I just keep myself busy with other things that I want to do like hiking, running, volunteering and hanging out with friends. The less I obsess about when he’s going to propose, the happier I am and that reflects in my relationship with him. I confess, some days are better than others. You’re going to have frustrating days where you feel like you’re going to explode if he doesn’t do it soon. Other days, you’ll hardly think about it.
There’s a specific part of this site made for waiting Bees. There are a lot of women in the same boat as us and it’s so great to be able to vent and support others. You should also read this post at the link below. It really made me think about my attitude towards the whole waiting deal. Hope this helps! http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/happily-waitingfinally