(Closed) New, but a family issue already!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7683 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mxchick:  I agree… it is totally unreasonable to expect guests to pay $2000+ for the pleasure of attending their wedding. I’ve nothing against DWs, so long as the couple don’t get upset when guests can’t attend. But family politics are tough, maybe Fiance can compromise and attend alone.

This is totally unrelated to your brother’s wedding because you don’t need to fork out thousands to attend that.

Post # 4
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think is it unreasonable too. However have you thought of cutting the cost in half by having just your Fi go. Because it’s his brothers wedding and he should do everything within reason to be there.

Post # 5
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@TwoCityBride:  This. I would ask my fiance to go and leave holiday free for my own family later in the year.

Post # 6
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mxchick:  Everyone who complains I would ask them for a “donation” towards you going then. Say something along the lines of “Well do you think we can borrow the $2K from you?” That would shut them up!!

But PP had a great point: Can you budget it so only the brother went?

Post # 7
3304 posts
Sugar bee

Send your fiancé by himself, that is what I would do

Post # 8
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@armychica06:  +1


And yes, they are the ones being rude. Not you.

Post # 9
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

After just getting married last weekend, there is no way I could have gone and spent that much money right before the wedding. Costs got down to the wire and I don’t blame you! I do agree with the other posters, maybe your Dear Fiance could go?

Post # 10
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

if you can’t go then you can’t go! End of story. They need to understand that.

Post # 11
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Brides who plan destination weddings AND are unreasonable about others not being able to attend are just jerks. There, I said it. If you want a destination wedding, great – just plan to basically do it on your own unless it’s in a cheaper area/you have wealthier family members.

You’ve got expenses and vacation time to worry about here. If you can’t afford even for just your fiancee to attend, a card and a gift is really all that is required. If they choose to be bitter, nasty and unreasonable about it, I say let them.

Your fiancee needs to back you up on this. If his family says something to you, he needs to be the first to – as others said – ask if he can borrow the money, then. that will shut them up fast.

Post # 12
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wouldn’t stress over it, I know easier said then done. But if you can’t go then you can’t go, and they are being unreasonable, by not just accepting that.

Post # 13
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Anyone who decides to have a destination wedding MUST be prepared to accept that people will not be able to afford to attend. Period.

Post # 14
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Just because someone invites you to something doesn’t mean you are required to attend.  Couples that plan destination wedding take a gamble with their guests, it’s presumptuous and rude to assume that people are dying to blow their hard earned money just to watch them get married.  You’ve told them your plans, I would refuse to discuss the matter further at this point.

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