(Closed) New Careers for FI and I…but there's a catch!

posted 4 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
3439 posts
Sugar bee

You’ll get used to sleeping alone, trust me. My husband works some overnight shifts. It may take some time but you will figure out a routine – including quickies;) We typically do our own thing when the other is working so that  we can spend our off days together. For example, your husband will probably stay up really late the night after his shifts. That is when my husband would play video games, because I am not interested in them and am sleeping. While he is asleep that day, you go and get all your annoying errands done, so that you guys can just chill on the weekends. Or whatever. 

Post # 3
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

It will definitely take getting used too, but it’s only three nights right?  That’s four days that he will be home.  And it doesn’t sound like this is permanent for him?  He’s in school and will eventually move onto the more desirable shifts.  So ya, there will be adjustments, but it’s not like you’ll never see him!  

Post # 4
Member
4240 posts
Honey bee

How old were you when you started dating?

Post # 5
Member
10641 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

DH and I were in a similar schedule when we were LDR. So it was a bit different since we didn’t get to see one anothe in person but still had to make it work. What worked for us was really our drive for one another. It was important to us to speak to each other every day and “spend time together”. So I would stay up later at night and chat with him while he was working, when I would fall asleep he would continue to send me messages and songs that reminded me of him and whatever random thoughts he had. Usually when I was waking up he was getting off work so again he would stay up late after he got off to spend time talking to me. Then while he was sleeping I would continue to message him the way he had me.

I guess the big point is that we prioritized our relationship so we found ways that to work around the schedule and still feel connected to one another. You guys will work out a system once it happens so that you are both getting what you need.

Post # 7
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Hubby and I have a hard time sleeping apart after six years, but push come to shove on the second night we figure it out.  It will be an adjustment, but you can get through a year of this.  

Post # 8
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
bluecutie00 :  Ours is the opposite – I’m the one who works nights (max 3 nights in a row 8 hour shifts) and 12 hour weekend shifts…and then if I pick up any evening or night shifts – I’m a nurse. My fiance works day shift in the IT world M-F. We see each other in the evening from about 5:30p-10p and still have a fabulous sex life. So some weeks we don’t have sex for a few days, but I don’t think that’s out of the ordinary for many couples. He doesn’t sleep as well when I’m not there, but he still sleeps just fine (I’m a heater…so he uses more blankets lol).

Post # 9
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You get used to it! I use to work 12am-8am with one weekend off a month, while my fiancé worked days mon-fri. It’ll be weird at first but just spend the time you do have together focusing on each other. 

Post # 10
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

We both work days but with my commute I’m lucky if im home 7:30 until we go to bed at 9/10. We get half hour in the mornings getting ready and then weekends. Only a few hours after work before bed is pretty normal. You’ll get over it. 

Post # 11
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island

It sounds like the perfect excuse to have dinner dates 3x a week!

Post # 12
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
bluecutie00 :  He left for a long weekend a few months ago, and I only slept a total of 6 hours over 4 days

This sounds a bit much to me.  

 

It’s only three days a week, you’ll get used to it quickly, I say just go for it.

Post # 14
Member
4240 posts
Honey bee

Ok, so you presumably slept fine for the first 22 years of your life without him. I think you’re being a touch dramatic 😛 It will be an adjustment, but you will get into a new routine fairly quickly.

Post # 15
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Perfect excuse to make sure he is making dinner on those three nights! I’m not sure what you’re cooking arrangements are, so I don’t want to stereotype, but if you are the primary chef at home it would be great for him to get dinner together those three nights so you could come home and spend all the time relaxing together. 

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